4 things

1. i'm not pregnant. thank the universe. however, because of this, i'm in a "don't fuck with me" mood. in addition to a "shut the fuck up about stupid shit" mood. oh, and an "i'm a fat ass and want to eat chocolate gummy bears on saltines" mood. i don't handle being a female well it seems.
2. job interview was more of a conversation. it went well i think but they are definitely in no hurry to hire. i'm not sure what to think. still processing the day.
3. i'm very tired.
4. happy nekkidness to all the nekkid people.

goodnight.
xoxo,
Bella

6am WTF post

Forgive me as I conduct an early morning brain purge here. I seem to be having a mild panic attack. Perhaps due to the fact that I must get my period today or....or what...I don't know...or have a serious motherfucking breakdown, that's what. I cannot have another kid. Mentally and physically canNOT. There's also the fact that I need to get my meds refilled but I'm picking those up today, a good thing. I'm on antidepressants and I always hesitate to share that with anyone in fear they will think I'm, well, crazy. But ya know what? I don't fucking care if you think I'm crazy right now. I just want my meds and to not be pregnant. Which I'm totally not, I'm just stressing about the possibility. I mean, why else did I just eat a pound of cheddar goldfish and six handfuls of minimarshmellows? PMS right? Of course. Gah. Chill the fuck out Bella. There's also that pseudo-job interview today. Yeah, I know I said I wasn't worried about it but I lie sometimes. Deal. I need this to work out. I'm past the point of desperation and well into apathy with the current job thing. But these things go in cycles for me and what is apathy now, will soon turn back into desperation and hopelessness. I'm also severely bored with things right now. I need a change. A massive one. Have I mentioned yet that I dreamt that I hung out with Bon Jovi last night? They gave me a private concert in some random bookstore and I bought a coffee table book of Bon Jovi-ness to have them sign to bring back to a friend's wife who is happily obsessed with the band. 'Cause I'm a good friend like that. Even in my dreams baby. I have a couple of trips to look forward to so thats a positive as I love nothing more than travel. That's what I must do. Focus on the positive and take deep breaths. And put down the fucking goldfish. Brain purge over. Have a good day.
xoxo,
Bella

Update: as if by magic, all is well now with the not-being-pregnant thing. I think it was the goldfish/marshmellow combo. Carry on about your day. Peace.

straddling the chair

I think I could fall madly in bed with you.
~ Author Unknown

post date

When I said I would post tonight I had no idea what I'd write here. Oh hell, I still don't. But I feel like typing and talking so here I am. You lucky bastards. Ha. 

Date night last weekend with Mr. Man was nice, as I mentioned. Very tame but quite lovely just to be together, only the two of us. Being parents has been difficult I'll admit. (Which reminds me, if I don't get my period by tomorrow I am going to have a serious nervous breakdown. But I digress.) The strip club idea didn't happen. I'm not sure why. We both want to but just can't seem to get there for some reason. He's been before but I haven't. Maybe it would be easier/more fun to go with another couple or a group? Maybe we're just shy. We also didn't find the energy for lovemaking on date night. Crazy I know. But the following evening? Can you say "bow chicka bow wow"? We popped in our new porno flick and rocked the bedroom. Other people's names were mentioned which makes us both extra hot and bothered. Yum-o-licious.

I'm thinking the sex will be much more frequent once tax season is over and his long hours are no more. Yet another reason to look forward to late April. Perhaps other sexy fun will make its way into our lives as summer approaches. Here's hoping.

...in other less sexy news...I have a job interview of sorts tomorrow. I'm not really stressing about it as the job doesn't even have funding yet and is kind of up in the air. But it's a possibility that's been brewing for a while now and I'm just ready to wow them with my sparkling personality and mad job skilz. Its kind of nice not to be all worked up about it as I tend to do better when I just relax and "be myself". Anyway, we'll see what happens. I do know that its impossible for me to continue in my current situation for much longer. I am bored out of my brain. I walk in that place every morning and am instantly deflated. It's draining the life out of me and I'm just done.

I have a hot date with a treadmill in the morning so I'm off to bed in a bit. Have a lovely night.

xoxo,

Bella

eeeeeek!

busy busy busy...but a new post tonight! i promise!!! and i'm trying to do better at stopping by your blogs and commenting, and/or commenting back to you on my posts. life gets in the way of my internet fun.

more later tonight!

xoxo,
Bella

a quickie

Date night last night was very nice. Tame, but nice. Mr. Man was excited about the babysitter coming over as he has a slight major crush on her. Very cute to see him flirt with her. We headed to a nice dinner in which I treated myself to a couple of appletinis and some white wine. Just enough alcohol to relax and get loose, but not enough to give me a hangover. I'm all about balance ya know. Ha. A trip to the local sex store and we bought a new movie to add to our collection. We were both exhausted and were home by 11:30. I know, we're old. It's pathetic really but what ya gonna do?
And I'm still exhausted so this post is pretty much done. I have many things I'm mulling over in my head but don't have the words to express them right now. Life is just weird sometimes.
More soon.
Goodnight.
xoxo,
Bella

red

Perhaps I've posted this before, I don't remember and am too lazy to look back and see. 13 took the pic after making my ass red with his spankings. Damn, that was a fun day.

I'm looking forward to a day off tomorrow to do whatever I want. And of course, a date with Mr. Man in the evening! We still don't know what we're doing but honestly, I don't care. I just want to have a few drinks and be a sexy woman out with my man, instead of mommy covered in macaroni and cheese watching The Wiggles. I did mention getting some new ink...but we'll see what happens. 

For now, I'm off to bed. With my vibrator methinks. And maybe tomorrow, I'll get the real thing.

Goodnight.

xoxo,

Bella

this post has no purpose

well fuck, i just typed a random post that turned into this huge novel about insecurities, body image, etc but decided not to post it because it sounds pissy and i'm tired and will probably regret. one of those things you ramble on and on about and then read later and wish you'd just deleted. heh.

and so with that perfectly useless bit of information, i'm off to bed. happy hnt to those who play along and y'all have a good thursday.

goodnight.
xoxo,
bella

Today's Wish List

I want to be wined & dined, wooed & romanced, flirted with & teased.

I want you to tell me I'm beautiful & sexy, even when I'm not.

I want you to kiss me lightly on the shoulder while standing behind me with your arms around my waist.

I want your tongue to trace the outline of my lips before kissing me passionately.

I want you to hold me down on the bed by my wrists while you drive into me as hard as you can.

xoxo,
Bella

getting comfy in Mr. Man's clothes

Some Questions

Why does he pop up online, say "hi", to which I respond "hey", & then he goes away? Drives me crazy. Time to play harder to get.

Why did I just eat that bag of bbq fritos? I'm not hungry, just bored. Now my breath smells like butt. Where's my gum?

Why did my alarm go off just as I was about to suck off a Shemar Moore look-a-like in the backseat of someone's car? This was right after I'd fucked the other guy sitting next to him. I'll never get that dream to come back.

Carry on with your day.

xoxo,
Bella

strip club, upcoming hotness & bedtime

We have scored a babysitter for this Friday night!!!! I'm thinking strip club...Mr. Man? What do you think baby? My naive lil' self has never been to one so I want to experience a somewhat classy club where there are other females there as patrons...Must research this before Friday...Regardless, its gonna be DATE NIGHT! YES!

In other news, Mr. Man has something super sexy hot coming up but I'm not sure if he is ok with me spilling the juiciness here just yet...I think I'm as excited about it for him as he is!

I suppose I'll put myself to bed now as I have an early date with some bastard named Gym. Oh, btw, I did go purchase dark brown haircolor...but it is still in the box for now...bwahahahahahahah...

And now, to find something to read to ease myself into sleep. Hopefully.

Goodnight.
xoxo,
Bella

come cuddle with me

Its been raining all day here. Slow cold drizzle. After a couple of days of very pleasant weather that got all of us Southerners excited about spring, here comes a temperature drop and sogginess. But spring will be here soon enough and we'll whip out the shorts, flip flops and get to show some sexy skin. Seems like its been ages since I've worn a swishy skirt with bare legs and sandals. I'm itching to restock my spring/summer wardrobe with sundresses, tanks, skirts and things that bare smooth shoulders.

The weekend has been nice. Lazy and quiet and uneventful. Well, except for the idiotic ruckus I've caused upon returning from the hair salon. Sigh.

There's stupid hair drama here and the fact that it is hair drama makes me roll my eyes and get all irritated. The short of it (haha) is that I got a crazy ass hairdo (crazier than normal), a black cherry purplish color underneath and bright blond on top. Usually it's just purply with blond chunks but for some reason, this redistribution of the lighter color has started The Great Hair Battle of 2010. My mother says I have to dye it a "normal" color before a job interview that I have next week. Mr. Man agrees. My friends are split. Some say "it's kickass, leave it alone, be your own person". Others say "I know it sucks but it's just too much for your workplace and you don't want to jeopardize getting this new job because of your hair".

God, I hate logical thinkers. If I lived outside the damn Bible Belt I think I'd be fine. It's so lame that I have to worry about where my tattoos go on my body or the color of my hair or how crazy my makeup is. Its stifling but seems to be the reality of where I reside and where I work. And so, I imagine there will be a trip to the store later tonight for a box of boring brown hairdye. Fuckers. Further confirmation that I don't belong here because I have to force who I am into the appropriate box. I shoulda been a starving artist or some such. Again, fuckers.

Well, I didn't mean for this to turn into an entire post about my stupid hair! Ha! Oh well. Anyway. The two hour nap I had earlier today was so yummy that I'm tempted to crawl back under the covers for round two. But instead I'll get off the laptop and go rejoin my sweet family for the rest of this drizzly evening. But maybe tonight...tonight, maybe there will be cuddling involved...cuddling with me and my crazy ass hair.

xoxo,
Bella

quiet time

Sidenote: Thanks much to 13 for letting me know my comments were broken. Some setting I had to reconfigure. Damn Blogger. Anyway, its fixed now.

It's Saturday night and I'm bored. I have a glass of wine in hand and the house is silent as all humans and pets are asleep but me. While I do like this quiet alone time, sometimes it makes me more restless than peaceful. My mind tends to wander in all sorts of places and wistful thoughts intrude.

Perhaps I'll have sweet dreams to match my wine.

Goodnight.
xoxo,
Bella

something sexy

I should really get in the shower before Mr. Man gets home from the gym. Tonight is a rare occasion, i.e., he's not tired tonight and it would seem that he is feeling froggy. And so I hope to give him a sexy time and send him to bed for another good night's rest.

Me, I'll probably be up late tonight since I'm off tomorrow. I'm becoming a night owl. That's the nice way to say I'm becoming an insomniac. But I'm pretty good at entertaining myself, and sometimes others, when I can't sleep. 13, I'm looking at you babe. Ahem.

Tomorrow was supposed to be the day I finally got a ride on Jake's bike. But as per our usual, things went awry and he called me sounding awful. Sick as the proverbial dog. Poor guy. Its ok though. Now that I know what his intentions are, I'm kind of good with waiting for the perfect time to unleash my sexy self on him. And the anticipation is part of the excitement isn't it? Uh, we are still talking about motorcycles here right? Heh.

So anyway, I'm not sure what kind of trouble I'll find for myself tomorrow. Right now it looks like it might be some serious painting of the bathroom since its due another coat. And doesn't that sound like a good time y'all?

Have a lovely evening everyone. I'm going to go get myself dolled up a bit and suck my man's phenomenal cock.

Goodnight.

xoxo,

Bella

Mobile blogging

This is a test. Since I deleted my original blog & started this one I've had trouble getting the mobile blogging thing to work. Sooooo, can y'all see this? B/c I HAVE to be able to post random shit during the day or I might go crazy. Peace. Bella.
Sent from my Verizon Wireless BlackBerry

wrong way

Its been a day. Not one I want to rehash. I'm tired and grumpy and just want to let loose somehow. But I haven't figured out how to do that just yet. I'd drink but have to get up early in the morning and tonight is not a night where I want to stop at just one glass of wine. One bottle is more like it. Eh, I might be too pissy tonight to post but I feel like brainspewing anyway.

I get so discouraged about my career. I hate the direction I've taken and the pigeonhole I currently find myself stuck in. I think back and try to recall exactly where I turned the wrong corner that got me to here. I've been telling myself that something has got to break or give or fall apart at some point, that I can't keep doing what I'm doing day after day, year after year. I'm too young and too smart to be doing something I hate, something that I get no fulfillment or joy out of, something that I've become apathetic towards. And yet, still I sit behind that desk and fake it over and over again. Smiling and nodding and agreeing at all the right times with all the right people. It's exhausting. It doesn't help that my boss is a total clueless bitch but that's an entirely different issue.

Anyway, this post was much longer but I got tired of reading my whining. Suffice it to say that it gets me down quite often. That "stuck" feeling is wearing on me and I don't see a solution anytime soon. I can be so much more than this, do so much more. I just need a chance to change my course.

Goodnight.
xoxo,
Bella

boyz

So, as I type this, Mr. Jr. High (yeah, Cast of Characters definitely needed) is online. He's boring me tonght. Maybe its because I'm tired from driving all day. It was a great day, just exhausting. I'm unwinding now with my HGTV and some popcorn. And the internet of course.

Ok, I spoke too soon, Mr. Jr. High just made me laugh.

I had an interesting text conversation with Jake last night. I can't figure out if he's fucking with me or actually WANTS to fuck me. Ha. There is about a 1% chance that he will be off work on Friday and I'll get a ride on his bike. Um, euphemism much? Heehee. But seriously, he has a hot bike that I have been dying to get on for ages. So cross your fingers for me y'all?

As if to contradict my statement in a prior post about the lack of sex I've been having lately, Mr. Man and I had super hot, extra spicy, spectacularly dirty lovin' last night. The dirty talk was intoxicating and the sexiness....well, perfect. I love him so very very much.

Oh shit, just remembered the time changes tonight doesn't it? Which means, I'm out.

Ciao.
xoxo,
Bella

now where did i put that can of soup?

ah, top shelf. go figure. glad i'm tall.

(fyi: i'm stalling. stalling b/c i need to get to the gym before time to pick up munchkin. stalling b/c i should really straighten the house before mr. man gets home. stalling b/c i'm lazy and drowsy. just stalling. in general.)

to do list

I want to create a blogroll, add a cast of characters, do some reformatting, catch up on all of your sexy posts, write a zillion things and post some pics here, but damn if I have the time for all of that right now! I'm off work today but am working on a side project thing-a-ma-jig before a lunch meeting and then have grocery shopping to conquer, laundry, etc etc. All those mundane household things that I am not very fond of. Tomorrow I'm taking kiddo for a one day visit to my parent's who live a few hours away, so must prepare for that. Yada yada yada.

The sexiness in my life has been a bit lacking lately. Besides all the self-love I've been engaging in mind you. Its a bad time of year for sex in this house (tax season) but Mr. Man was being quite grabby last night so hopefully I'll get some good fucking in this weekend. Of course, I could always call up my phone sex friend and have a go. But I have to be in the right mood for that. Maybe later today...

Anyway, not much to say, just checking in and saying hello I guess. Perhaps something more exciting later. Have a great weekend!

xoxo,
Bella

in the quiet of morning

My body warm and moist from a steaming shower, I climbed back between the sheets and just lay there. Quiet and still, listening to that special kind of silence that only exists before the sun rises.

My eyes closed and my hands began to wander. Skimming over my throat, between breasts, down belly and to that place that makes me moan. I parted my lips and felt the wetness seep onto my probing fingers. My other hand wandered over my thigh and up a writhing hip, caressing my breast and circling my hard nipple.

Breathing faster now I reach for my favorite toy and press its vibrating hardness onto my softness. I hold it there, letting the pulsing invade me, completely relaxing my body. Fingers running back and forth over breasts, nipples, thighs. I'm throbbing with pleasure now and tease my pussy with the toy. Wanting to cum but not letting myself. Not yet.

And then, its time. My clit and my entire body need release. I arch my back and find that place that gives me the most pleasure. My orgasm encompasses me in a slow steady hard rhythm of ecstasy. Just when I hit a peak, I say his name out loud over and over and my mind rewards me with several more seconds of extreme pleasurable throbbing.

I'm spent and satisfied. I lay there in the afterglow of a phenomenal orgasm and drift in and out of sleep for a bit. As I get up to dress for my day I think I'll make a point of enjoying the mornings like this more often.

domestic diva

Not so much.

I am the world's worst cook which is actually ok by me because I hate to cook. In my opinion, there is nothing I can cook that will taste any better than what I can buy somewhere. And the clean up? Its much easier to throw away (or recycle rather) a box or a can than to wash the 50 million bowls, pots, pans, and spoons that I will no doubt mess up in my pathetic attempt to cook. Perhaps if I were better at it, I'd feel differently but that whole Paula Deen gene missed me by a country mile or two.

Housekeeping? Uhhhhhh. I'm kind of a slob. Granted, if I know I am having company, I can get my house in decent enough shape to be acceptable but if you happen to stop by without calling me first? The reason I won't answer the door is because I don't want you to see the couch made of laundry and the hearth covered with kiddo's toys and the kitchen sink full of dirty glasses, etc etc. And I've never understood why people make their beds only to go off to work and come home to climb right back in them anyway? Seems like wasted effort to me.

So in the category of domesticated woman, I am an epic failure. Its a good thing I give good head.

bella is a fickle bitch

Here's the deal. For a brief time I had a blog called by this same name "Being Bella". Which I deleted for reasons that no longer matter. I couldn't decide if I should revive her or not but finally decided, what the hell.

So here I am. Again.

Bottom line, I need a place to talk about sexy things, maddening things, whatever, things that I can't talk about at my other place on the internet.

So here we go. Again.

Peace and Goodnight.

xoxo,

Bella