serious and sexy things

In spite of my last post about balance, there have been some sexy things going on as well.

Mr. Man and I have had some hot sex in the past couple of weeks (even a session in an empty house with no worries about waking kiddo and the fact that I could be as loud as I wanted to was very freeing. I may have scared the dog however.) Mr. Man knows just how to touch me and is a patient, sexy man. Also, Best.Backrubs.Ever.

I know I've said this before but life is hard, married life is harder and married life with kid(s) is even more so. Work, child rearing, bill paying, laundry folding, and all of those everyday routine things can get in the way of romance and couple time. I want to do much better with not taking Mr. Man for granted or overlooking things that he does for our family. Our marriage and family unit is the most important thing and I want it to remain as strong as possible. If that means that at some point we need to halt this "arrangement" that we have, I will not hesitate to do so. I love him so much and sometimes I wonder if we are doing more harm than good with some of the decisions that we've made and are making. I want to feel closer to him, not more distant. That's been on my mind a lot lately.

That said, I was lucky enough to have some brief, but very steamy playtime with C-man and M yesterday. M was witness for the first time to the dramatic show that I call "Bella's Orgasm Via Vibrator". Poor thing, I hope I didn't scar her for life. She and I also got a bit of girl time in, which was quite lovely even though I'm still not really sure what I'm doing in that regard. But I definitely enjoy being a student of how to please a woman. Wink wink. It was also confirmed that I still immensely enjoy being the sub to C-man's Dom. There are so many places and levels consensual parties can take that scene...its an intense thing.

Speaking of Domination, the new spreader bar and ankle cuffs I recently purchased didn't see any action but I'm hoping to lure Mr. Man into Bella's Dungeon O' Love very soon to try them out with me. I think the pink spreader bar and complementary pink cuffs will look pretty damn hot with my black waist cincher/corset. It looks good in my head anyway.

Ok sexy people, my eyes are crossing from tiredness and sleepy-time is beckoning. Sweet dreams.

xoxo,
Bella

Balance

I have none today. Making the sexy me coincide with the mommy me is proving near to impossible lately.

Just something I wanted to say "out loud".

Sent from my Verizon Wireless 4G LTE DROID

Happy...well, you know.

Sent from my Verizon Wireless 4G LTE Phone

black & white, then shades of gray

I googled images of Paris yesterday until I cried. Today I purchased the only travel magazine my supermarket had on the shelf. Living dreams via the internet and magazines isn't exactly what I had in mind way back when. The urge to roam is a constant but so very stifled.

Sometimes I fear that I'm becoming the type of person that I used to loathe. Questioning and second guessing was never my nature. Want to lose weight? Quit eating shit food and exercise. Bills and money woes got you down? Get an extra job. Feel like taking a trip? Get in your car and drive dammit.

In my teens and twenties, the world was a very black and white place. Now as I awkwardly stumble toward forty, the multiple shades of gray threaten to suffocate me. 

Bella

bang bang bang...bullet style

• The Sweetest Compliment of the Week Award goes to a friend who said this after seeing a picture of me..."Nice. Such a great smile on you, you look truly happy." It doesn't get much better than that. 

• People need to chill the fuck out. Thank you Babble, for at least opening up a discussion about this...Open Marriage Isn't So Bad 

• The new babysitter is working out great! Mr. Man and I had a fabulous outing last weekend with friends and have another one scheduled in a couple of weeks. Perhaps back to the strip club?

• I'm tired of feeling like I ought to apologize for not being that Miss Goody Two Shoes I used to be back in the day. Sorry to shit all over your fairytale fantasy.

• I had phone sex with Jr. High the other day. Completely unplanned, impromptu and spontaneous. Hadn't talked to him in months. Score: 7 outta 10.

• Sometimes I feel like this blog is no longer my own place to be brutally honest. Not a fan of the self-imposed filter. Hello there paper journal in my panty drawer.

• I'm not excited about 1/2 marathon weekend coming up in a couple of months and being surrounded by people who will do what I had dreamed of doing until my injury. The positive side is that I am giving someone else the opportunity to run it who otherwise wouldn't.

• In that same vein, I love Psychology Today and this take on the "what doesn't kill you makes you stronger" mumbo-jumbo made me laugh. I heart irony. 

• Life is pretty great and I'm a lucky girl.

• Check out this old school vibrator I stumbled on in a local vintage shop...sweet right? But I still think I'll stick with my trusty rabbit.