Wednesday, December 12, 2018

We shone bright for a moment

I missed him a lot today.

Sometimes I go to his Facebook to look at his pictures, to see remnants of his life left online. I don't want to forget. To read his favorite quotes, written in his own handwriting, like the Bukowski one here, that means something altogether different now that he's gone. I scroll through my phone to see pictures he sent to me, read his messages, watch videos to hear his voice.

I'm writing about you, but I don't want to share it yet. I write it for me, because I don't want to forget.

I'll bet Death did tremble when you showed up.

"We are here to laugh at the odds and live our lives so well that Death will tremble to take us."     - Charles Bukowski


Saturday, November 17, 2018

Preds win. Wanna puck?

WTF happened?

Life man, that's what.

My personal computer died and I'm gifting myself a new one for Christmas. Posting via mobile is just the pits, so there's that.

I switched jobs, an entire career actually; it's time consuming and fucking great.

I see LL the most these days I guess (just yesterday self...whoa), and a few others for the occasional tryst. There have definitely been some hills and valleys over the past several months in terms of my sex life and my priorities. I actually hadn't met anyone new in ages until a few weeks ago, but I'm not writing about that just yet.

Mr. Man and I are good lately and planning another trip to see Frances and Bruno in January.  Rawr.

Overall, life is great, and I'm still me. Just a bit older and a bit more awesome.


Saturday, January 6, 2018

Sunday, December 31, 2017

Peeks around corner

Happy 2018 you sexy bitches!

Yeah yeah, Bella sucks at blogging. I'm doing ok. Lots of changes have happened in my life and my intention is to move off of Blogger and onto something a bit friendlier and get my own domain. But I am technically inept. And anonymity is important. So it's all intimidating/overwhelming and easier to be lame and not do anything. But I've had many requests to start writing again and I truly want to, just for myself even.

So that's where we are folks. Love you all and please, stay kinky!


Saturday, May 20, 2017


This town and it's hot musicians y'all. I can't even stand it sometimes. Just when my cynicism about the state of the open/poly/non-monogamous male population reaches a peak, along comes a total sweetheart like Joe. It's been several months ago that we met on OKC and I honestly can't even remember what our first conversation was like but I think I'm the one who messaged him first. Maybe. Even that's foggy. He just seems to have always been around. 

I do remember our first meeting however. Lunch at a local bar. I walked in and there he was, in all his blue-eyed, bearded glory. Sometimes you just get a good feeling about someone and I liked Joe immediately. I do remember that rush of nervous awkwardness within the first few minutes of introductions and initial conversation*. Then food arrived and maybe a beer but I don't remember. We talked about our jobs, relationships, our open/poly marriages and how different experiencing that and being that in the South versus "out West" can be. 

There's always this pause after a meal or a drink when you wonder if the connection is mutual, what happens next, etc. All these thoughts happen in a matter of seconds. In this case the next step was an obvious "I'd like to see you again, how about a walk right now?" And so we did. We walked around a nearby park, peeked through a fence at a guitar shaped pool (it was on Music Row, after all), and then got snuggly on a park bench for the next half hour. After it was obvious that we both wanted this to go further, Joe was openly affectionate. As my tweet says, he is a hand-holding, back-rubbing, arm-around-your-shoulders, hand-on-the-small-of-your-back, kissing kind of guy. That kind of physicality in public is not really Mr. Man's style, so I welcomed the refreshing intimacy of it. 

Since that first meeting many months ago, we've seen each other semi-regularly but not nearly as much as either of us would like. There have been several hot and heavy make-out sessions in the car, blowjobs, sexting, sweet dinner and lunch dates, and I even played groupie and went to one of his shows. Due to logistical circumstances, we didn't have sex for what seemed like forever. It was glorious torture. Finally schedules and stars aligned and we got a hotel room for a night. Whew. There's nothing like sex for the first time with a new person. Does that sounds slutty? Fuck it. I own my sexuality and I love it. 

He spent the winter months in a state far away but we texted throughout. I'm happy to report that we reconnected when he got back and have since enjoyed each others company several times. Ahem. He's good. Very good. He takes his time and knows what he's doing. For the record, vaginal massage is a thing....that he knows how to do.

So that's Joe. Here's to nice guys with beards who enjoy sex as much as I do.

*Meeting someone new for the first time in this capacity is scary, and a rush. It just is. I'm holding that thought for another post about the psychology of that event.

Sunday, April 2, 2017