Sidenote: it bugs the fuck out of me that I feel the need to block out the tat. Real life is so annoying.
Related to this, I'm bothered by the involuntary compulsion I have to constantly conform to what others think I should be, how they think I should feel or how I should act. It's like I'm caged in by other people's expectations and I'm weary. It drains me and I'm not sure how much more I have left in me to continue to "fake" it. And really, why should I have to? The truth is, I don't have to but its the easy, responsible thing to do. But you know what Bella? Its a fucking cop out. And that's the truth.
Another sidenote: Don't you love it when people get all dramatic and talk to themselves on their blogs?
I miss my friends. Close girlfriends in particular. But even with them I can't talk freely about many things going on in my life. And so I blog to strangers and journal to myself and do a lot of thinking. If you could walk around inside my head, you would be afraid people, very afraid.
I am considering a sick day tomorrow. Don't tell my boss.
Sweet dreams and goodnight.