Sunday, November 21, 2010

Lightheaded Bella in a Red Dress

Since I got all burlesque-y there for a few weeks, I had the chance to attend an event that required a little vamping it up. Ok, so looking like one of those girls who slithers all over a grand piano while huskily giving oral to a microphone wasn't a requirement for attendance, it was a great excuse to buy a new dress and fishnets. Girls, you understand me right? Right.

Now I am not really a dress wearing kind of girl. Well, I take that back, if I'm in the mood I do occasionally like to dress up and look girly, but its the discomfort of it all that kills me. I mean really, who invented pantyhose, tights, heels, strapless bras and all the itchy accoutrements of what passes as mainsteam sexy these days anyway? By the time I get all doozied up and leave the house, I'm a raging sweatball of uncomfortable squirming grumpiness. But I fake it fairly well and pretend that this all comes easily and that I'd really not rather be wearing my flannel sock monkey jammies and chenille socks (as I am wearing right now by the way, sorry for the buzzkill).

Which brings me to my disclaimer: While it does appear that I wear the dress pretty well from all outward appearances, you do NOT want to see what is going on underneath there. It is not pretty. Can we say SPANX CITY???? Spanx as in, modern day girdle to hold in all your jiggly bits and give you that sexy flushed cheek look because your head is NOT GETTING ANY OXYGEN!!! Those garments should really be outlawed. Boys, in case you haven't got the gist of what I'm sayin' here yet, looking sexy is such a pain in the ass. You should kiss our feet and give us three hour back massages for even caring. Not even kidding.

But since I endured the torture of my "intimate body shaper" and sexy-as-fuck-as-long-as-I-don't-fall-down stripper heels, I'll be damned if I'm not going to show you the end result.

These last ones (that are obviously not taken from inside my closet) were taken by 13 Messages in a very, shall I say, seductive photo shoot. He already posted a couple of his favorites but here are a few of mine appropriate for ye olde blog.

I suppose I'll be retiring what I call my "Jessica Rabbit Dress" unless another fun event comes along worthy of such an effort, but it was fun to be all snazzy for one night at least. The Spanx however, I'm burning.

G'night.
xoxo,
Bella

15 comments:

  1. Grumbling aside, you look very good in a dress! Weren't you wearing one when we met?

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  2. Yes, I was. Proof that I only wear them on special occasions! ;)

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  3. I also own one of those spanx things, although I believe mine is called "squeeze the life out of me"..

    But you look absolutely fabulous all put together.. and you have the greatest legs.

    Great post ! Thank you from the rest of us struggling to breath!

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  4. Red never looked so good! The dressmaker should be paying you for enhansing his reputation.

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  5. HOLY COW, you are HOT! ;o)

    Phhhewwwww....

    ~shoes~

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  6. Call me dumb but what are "spanx" and what are they used for?
    When I put on a little red dress I wear nothing underneath.
    Confused.

    Kittycat

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  7. Spanx are awesome as hell, because they hold the jiggly bits without leaving your skin all marked up - so you can sneak it off and into your purse before the hanky panky and he's none the wiser! (though he totally know.) That aside, effing hot Bella! I love it and want to look that hot when I'm headless! ;-)

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  8. Bella! You are long lithe and sexy.

    Love the photos sexy lady.

    -H

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  9. God Bless Spanx ... you look very sexy in red

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  10. The effort is most definitely appreciated.......

    LOVE it all, super sexy. And oh man, those pics!!!

    xo

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  11. bella: i have said it before that you are sexy and beautiful, these photos confirm it, you are beautiful, damn sexy and extremely hot

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  12. You look great in that dress and I bet great out of it too.....hint hint

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