Things seem to be changing somehow. I think for the better but then again, I'm never certain.
Mr. Man and I are in a good, dare I say great, place. Our sex has been frequent and a bit spicier lately. I did discuss him fucking me on his desk at work, right? But did I mention the blow job I gave him in the park last week? We've also been discussing our lifestyle choices and agree that if we want to continue exploring this, that all we have to do is make more of an effort. We've updated photos and our profile on a swinger site and have been more openly talking about such things lately. I'm not sure if anything tangible will progress in that regard but its nice to think and talk about with him. It makes me feel closer to him and that's something I had been missing.
Outside of those aspects, things are not so spicy. And that is ok right now. C-Man and I aren't exactly simpatico lately and I'm not sure where that relationship is going. We grew very close and his friendship means a lot to me. But things have become muddled somehow. Its a complicated thing he and I have created, perhaps to our detriment. We each want different things and neither of us are willing, nor should we have to, compromise on these things for the other one. I value what we had together and am fortunate to have found someone I trusted to explore a bit of BDSM. If we end things, I will miss that and am not sure where or if I'll be able to find it again. But I am asking myself if the value of that is worth the strain caused by other issues.
I'm fortunate to be able to hang out with 13 Messages a lot lately. We seem to have found a schedule that works nicely and have enjoyed some late movies and a few beers in recent weeks. While its not in the cards for us to play together these days, I very much enjoy discussing life and sexy things with him. However, I must add that it is only via a massive amount of willpower and respect for boundaries that keeps me from straddling him in a dark movie theater.
You may now consider yourself updated on all things sexy in the life of Bella.