loneliness

I've been thinking a lot about this lately...

I'm missing the simplicity of cuddling and hand holding and kissing and hair stroking and all that cheesy lovey stuff that a girl sometimes craves. I think it goes deeper than than too but I can't quite put my finger on it. I'd like someone to just "get me", as lame as that sounds. Of course I want the crazy, frantic, clothes ripping sex too but goddammit, I guess I just want it ALL. Mr. Man and I have talked about it and I don't know...Something just feels way off.

I fear I'm on the road to becoming one of those desperate lonely married women who turn into two pack a day smokers, with sponge rollers in their hair, flashing the UPS man out of sheer desperation. I exaggerate. God, I hope anyway.

I don't like being lonely. Because that, in addition to boredom, is a dangerous combination. Seeking the comfort of strangers and wanting them to provide you with something they can't give can be scary shit.

Anyway. These are things I think about late at night when I can't sleep.

I had a "sleep"over at Cash's the other night. More on that another time, if the mood strikes me to write about it.

xoxo,
Bella