Wednesday, July 6, 2011
I spent my 12th anniversary in a strip club
Mr. Man and I celebrated our 12th wedding anniversary a couple of weeks ago. Twelve years. I can't even believe it. We've been together as a couple for about fifteen though which boggles my mind even more. And makes me feel quite old. And extremely lucky. I have friends who have been married three times within just half of the number of years that Mr. Man and I have been together. We have ups and downs like every couple but we're still here dammit. And stronger than ever I think.
To celebrate, we recruited a babysitter and I took my man to dinner in one of those hipster neighborhoods where everyone looks like they need a shower and probably recycle and eat organic. Dinner was fabulous though, as was the people-watching. Afterwards we went for a stroll and kind of looked at each other and said "now what"? We drove by one of the local swinger clubs and discussed checking it out. But we always talk and never do and that night was no different. Another thing we often discuss is going to a strip club. We decided that if we wouldn't even enter a strip joint then there was no way in hell we'd ever get up the nerve to go to the swinger place. Finally, Mr. Man had enough talking about it and said "let's just fucking do it, I'm going to the atm right now for cash". And so we did.
I had no basis for comparison and didn't know what to expect except for what I'd seen in the movies. And you know what? It was pretty much just like that. Most of the girls looked bored out of their minds and I kept wanting to yell at them to smile a little and act like they were semi-enjoying themselves. But what do I know about stripping right? So I kept my mouth shut and watched the girls take turns on the first stage, slink off and go to another stage and repeat the dance. One of the strippers came up to us and chatted for a minute. She told us about some options for dances for couples and she was so cute I just wanted to take her home and be her bff. I will say, the girls were very attractive and in great shape for the most part. Some danced better than others and a few of them truly amazed me with their athleticism. The club was clean and there were humongous but friendly looking bouncers all over the place. I felt safe and there were other women in the audience so I didn't feel out of place in that way at all.
I had warned Mr. Man that I could go either way and to be prepared for me to either be really uncomfortable and pissy, or to be totally cool and enjoy it. I'd say I fell somewhere in the middle of that emotional spectrum, leaning more towards the "totally cool and enjoying it" side of things. I was a bit tense for whatever reason and could never really completely relax and let loose.We had neglected to BYOB and I decided that I need alcohol to truly enjoy it to the fullest. What can I say? I need a crutch every now and then.
So next time we'll show up with some Jack Daniels, plenty of cash and there will be close proximity nakedness. Mr. Man wants to watch me get a lap dance so that's on the list for a visit in the near future I hope.
So look out y'all, next stop...Bella and Mr. Man visit the swinger club. Haha. Maybe. We'll see. Don't hold your breath.