Saturday, December 17, 2011

knowing what I need

I love my husband. I probably don't say that enough here. He is so patient with crazy unpredictable me. Its amazing that he's still sane actually.

I mentioned that my sex drive and interest has been MIA lately. But last night he knew what I wanted and needed because he knows me so well. I initiated with a picture texted to him of my freshly shaved self and soon we were naked in bed together. (If you aren't sexting with your spouse/partner you are missing out) We cuddled for a bit and then he did that thing he does. Fingers grazing my back, the top of my ass. Just the right amount of pressure, the perfect amount of stroking in all the right places. It always makes me squirm and relax. Its the type of touching that can only come from years together learning each others bodies, knowing the exact thing to do to pleasure the other.

The sex that came next was great but what I keep replaying in my head the day after is when he whispered "I love you" in my ear as I was on top of him. That is just what I needed at that moment. There are many times we fuck and dirty talk about other people to each other, verbalizing our fantasies to increase the heat. But many times I just want it to be the two of us in that bed, even mentally. To know that I'm still the one he wants completely and for always. That no matter who we have slept with in the past or may in the future if we continue this journey, that I am the one he loves and needs in his life in this way. The mother of his child, the woman he comes home to, the crazy lady he shares the mundaneness of daily life with.

Being married is hard. Raising a child together is harder. Sometimes the sexual part of coupledom can get lost in the routine of it all. I need reassuring sometimes and he gave that to me last night with a simple whisper.



  1. Wow, Bella. After "wistful" and "vomit", I was wondering what was going to come next. Glad it's you who came, with a lovely whisper expertly tickling the fiber of your core. Love the love in your words. Thanks for sharing this.