Friday, September 14, 2012

the "bella-meter"

It occurred to me yesterday as I was looking back at blog posts, that just a few posts back I'd talked about how Mr. Man and I were in a good sexual place and then viola, I pulled the ol' switcheroo on you and discussed how I'd prefer a root canal to a cock in my panties.

Well, I am here to tell you today that I am now in the middle of those two. Meaning, I would not be averse to a man's hands on me, and MIGHT even enjoy it if he indulged me in at least 15 minutes of foreplay before taking the plunge. Chocolate and wine would also not be declined.

I have invented (in my mind because that's where all the fun stuff happens) the Bella-Meter. A simple cock shaped device with a scale of 1-10 on it that will indicate to any and all lovers in my life the current state of my sex drive/desire. 1 = I will CUT you if you so much as THINK about touching me. 10 = I have fucked you in my head 34 times within the past hour, get naked NOW. Today the Bella-Meter is at a 6. Now, I just need some engineering guru to come up with a prototype...

And on behalf of fickle, indecisive, moody, and otherwise cray cray women everywhere, I would like to apologize. No wonder we drive men to drink excessively. Good Lord.


  1. I think we should all have meters!

  2. I love this idea...we all need one! Can you imagine how much easier our lives would be? This would have saved me so many arguments with my ex.