Tuesday, March 16, 2010

wrong way

Its been a day. Not one I want to rehash. I'm tired and grumpy and just want to let loose somehow. But I haven't figured out how to do that just yet. I'd drink but have to get up early in the morning and tonight is not a night where I want to stop at just one glass of wine. One bottle is more like it. Eh, I might be too pissy tonight to post but I feel like brainspewing anyway.

I get so discouraged about my career. I hate the direction I've taken and the pigeonhole I currently find myself stuck in. I think back and try to recall exactly where I turned the wrong corner that got me to here. I've been telling myself that something has got to break or give or fall apart at some point, that I can't keep doing what I'm doing day after day, year after year. I'm too young and too smart to be doing something I hate, something that I get no fulfillment or joy out of, something that I've become apathetic towards. And yet, still I sit behind that desk and fake it over and over again. Smiling and nodding and agreeing at all the right times with all the right people. It's exhausting. It doesn't help that my boss is a total clueless bitch but that's an entirely different issue.

Anyway, this post was much longer but I got tired of reading my whining. Suffice it to say that it gets me down quite often. That "stuck" feeling is wearing on me and I don't see a solution anytime soon. I can be so much more than this, do so much more. I just need a chance to change my course.



  1. Know that "stuck" feeling well regarding career. I am currently in the process of great change career wise. Tis a risk I am taking that I hope pays off - time will tell. I do know however that I could not continue down the same worn path as I had become stuck in a rut and so very bored with my job. I also needed a chance to change my course and when it presented I grabbed it with both hands.

    Best of luck


  2. Well Sunshine the only one that can change it is you. Pull your big girl panties on, tits out,chin up and grab the bull by the horns.

    You can do it.

  3. Thanks Loverboy. I know there are many like me who feel the same way. Congrats on your career change!

    Dear Sweet Sage, you make me laugh, lucky for you. ;) Why yes, of course I am just sitting on my cute ass, not doing a damn thing to change my situation, just hoping for someone to come by and rescue me. Um, no. I'm pursuing new opportunities, exploring every opportunity that I possibly can and trying not to lose it with every rejection. I like your tough love though, it fires me up! :) xoxo.

  4. Clearly you have wedged yourself deep into my thinking mush and confused yourself with me - right? I was having this same dilema last week - wtf is with bosses thinking they know what they're doing when CLEARLY they don't! Have no fears Bella, you're a beautiful woman doing what we women do best - putting on the polite face and going about our daily business, while secretly plotting our escape from this reality to another more fulfilling one.

    I'll be there waiting, mimosa in hand.

  5. Laugh is the second best thing I can make a woman do, and the first best from here!!!!!!

    Good @ doing your best to change it. Some folks lay around in their own pity.

    go get em, good luck!!