bang bang

• what i did last night is not called sleeping. i'm pretty sure i sleepwalked my way into the street, lay down and just let cars run over me all night. no offense to those of you who have really been hit by a car. it's a joke. humor is healing ya know.
• it's a gorgeous day here in the south.
• i have this friend who calls downtown, where she works in my city, the "concrete jungle". this cracks me up. we are in tn. there are no concrete jungles here. concrete orchards maybe but no jungles. gettin' too big for her britches i think.
• mr. jr. high is named that for more than the fact that i actuallly did go to jr. high with him. when i get a text from him that just says "yep", that is his bat call for phone sex. is he 15 or something? oh well, i keep him around b/c when i'm in that mood, he gets me off quite nicely.
• my asthma is giving me fits today and i'm basically sucking air through my inhaler b/c i'm too lazy to call the pharmacy to see if i have any refills. must do that today b/c i am dying here.
• is it wrong of me that i do a mental no-poopy dance when kiddo gets up with no poop in the morning? b/c this means that she will most likely poop at daycare and her teachers get the honor of wiping my princess's ass. its the little things.
• i wonder how much to post here. how much detail, how much of myself to just lay out here? readers get about 1/3rd of me on my mommy/vanilla blog (which I have neglected lately), maybe a little more than 1/2 of my true self over here and in real life, well, most people only get about 1/10th.
• know who i miss? 13. i haven't seen him in a few weeks and it makes me grumpy. i either have an upcoming case of pms or 13 withdrawal. my test of whether or not i click well with someone is if we can hang out in complete silence and not feel that awkwardness of having to fill the space with lame chatter. 13? score. i like him lots.
• today is going to be interesting. my co-worker is turning in her 2 week notice today. yeah, people do that all the time. the timing in this case and the situation however, is fucked up. i am cospeaking at a conference in a couple of weeks and she was to also speak, along with my boss. (yeah, they let this country girl talk at big wig conferences occasionally, don't look so shocked. the fact that i'll be wearing a sexy garter and stockings under my suit is our little secret ok?) bosslady is going to blow her shit. on one hand, i'm glad karma is giving her a little taste but the fall out is going to be very bad for me. and since bosslady has no clue that coworker was even looking...and she knows that i am looking...you would think she'd get a clue that she is the worst.boss.ever. eh, anyway. in related news, i got my umpteenth job rejection yesterday. fuck. do i stink or something?
• i took a shower in the dark this morning. by choice. i tend to leave most of the lights off when i shower b/c its my time to wake up and just zone. let the mind wander while the water flows over my body. its my happy place. thought you should know.
• jake..sigh. there were texts this weekend but they consisted of yoda jokes only, nothing much sexier than that. and as far as yoda is concerned, he will always be grover dressed in a halloween costume. i cannot take the green guy seriously when all i can see is super grover saying "hello everybodyyyy". oh, back to jake. still want. must resist temptation to throw myself in his sexy lap. he has now become a challenge for me to conquer in a way. damn, maybe i was really a frat boy in a former life. again, no offense to any frat boys or former ones out there. remember the humor people. healing.
• have a nice day.

good morning.
xoxo,
bella