Tuesday, June 21, 2011


There's just something about the small of the back, on a man or a woman, that's just plain sexy, sensuous, erotic. That slight dip just above where the curve of the ass begins. I love to be kissed there.

The past several weeks have been deemed The Vanishing of the Sexy. That one little post I did about getting my groove back like Stella? Complete fluke. The joke was on me. Anyway, I'm sure it's just one of those crazy mental cycles I go through occasionally but it kind of sucks. A lot.

I want the butterflies back. I want to feel that passion again. The kind that makes my tummy flip, my breath catch, my face flush and my words jumble. To want to rip someone's clothes off so bad that just the thought of his touch makes you instantly wet and ready. But instead I sit here on the bed in my stained shirt and wool socks, knowing full well that I have a great life with many blessings. And yet, still wanting more. Always wanting more.

And not just sexually. I talk to friends living in fascinating and gorgeous cities, I see the photos they take of sparkling skylines and crowded streets, and I want that. I sit patiently and listen to others tell me about their fun filled crazy weekends meeting new people and just going out on the town and I want that, too. Or I hear of family members who are travelling to other countries on humanitarian missions, making a difference, doing good, great things for others, and I want that as well.

I know we can't do everything in life, can't try everything. But I wish I could.



  1. I am so there with you on everything Just looked at someones blog of them getting to live in Hawaii. What the hell?!

    Anywhere but here would be nice but yet we do it. Hopefully something exciting will come up

  2. Sometimes it's like we're the same person, just in different locations. I've decided to learn to enjoy my city and what it has to offer since I'm stuck here for awhile.

  3. the never ending wanting gets me down every now and agian, then when you think you might loose what you already have its impossible to remember why you wanted so much in the first place.

    However, I want you ;)

  4. Cate and I have been pondering somewhat similar questions. We know we have it really good in many ways, but at the same time there are other things we know we need to have to be truly happy. I've come to be convinced that it's the courage to make those things happen that I need to find. Not because those things are particularly huge or scary, but because they mean we have to let go of some of the other things we know are already pretty good. Trading pretty good to better is a scarier proposition than adding better to pretty good.

    I have no idea if this relates in any kind of way to what you're feeling. Sometimes we're just... blue, mellow, and it's OK. The wind of life and time blows in all directions, sometimes up, and sometimes down. It doesn't mean anything really, other than that you're alive. Only dead things are static.

    From what you write on your blog, it sounds like you have it really good with your hubby, your work, your health, your sex life. Your life appears to be better than pretty good. I do envy you sometimes when I read you. Love your self-deprecating humor and apparent nonchalance.

    Live it up.