I am a mess today. This week actually. I've injured my foot and am having to wear a boot and am not able to run for no telling how long. I'm missing a race on New Year's Eve that I was looking forward to very much and my half marathon training is taking a major hit. I'm afraid I'm going to lose all my progress and gain a bunch of weight that I don't need.
That's triggered a bunch of emotional shit that I am not dealing with very well.
Its no secret that I don't handle stress in a constructive manner. The post holiday funk has set in and there's some work stress and the usual mommy stress. I go through these weird cycles of confidence and this is one of my low points I guess. I like to think of myself as a strong person but the truth is that I'm not and envy those who are. I can only fake it so much until the point comes where I fall apart and cry in bed at night when I should be trying to pull myself up. God, did I mention I'm a mess? Oh yeah, first sentence.Where are my meds dammit?
Let's see...what else...oh...
This is random but the most bizarre thing happened the other day as I was standing in line to pick up my race packet for the 5K that I can't run (I'm not bitter, can you tell?). I ran into an old college boyfriend I hadn't seen in about 12 years. It was surreal. I'd always wondered what happened to him and hopefully we can stay in touch this time.
Also random, Mr. Man and I are working on finding a babysitter on a more regular basis so that we can have some couple time. That is severely lacking. We have to make it a priority and I haven't been very good at it lately. He deserves better than I've been giving him.
And with that, I'm finito.