Thursday, August 21, 2014

navigating connections

That first sentence especially speaks to me.

I've discovered over the past couple of years that I easily connect on an emotional level with different types of people. This is both a blessing and a curse I think. I have this wordy emo post in my mind about how past relationships have made me more cynical and have brought me to where I am today in the open marriage thing. Meaning, that I'm now trying to bring it back to being less about deep feelings and more about friendship and fun and no drama.

But then the Universe laughs and slaps you in the face and you again meet someone who deeply resonates with you. Someone you love spending time with and think about more than is probably good for you. It becomes as much about growing closer to that person and enjoying spending time just talking and hanging out as it does about the sex.
 
I'm seeing someone now like this and I do fear falling into that trap of feeling too much again and getting hurt. However, the situation is way different and the lessons learned in the past will serve me well, and I'm thankful for that. I do think that this could be great. A lifelong friendship that won't get kicked to the curb because of guilt or fear. He reminds me that I AM a good person. He brings out this nurturing, caring side of me that I really like, in tandem with the crazy, sexual, kinky side that I love about myself. I want to bake him casseroles (or at least throw a frozen pizza in the oven), while fucking his brains out.

I think the trick is to keep all things transparent and above board with frequent monitoring of the situation. Or is there a "trick"? Maybe its just life and we shouldn't over-think it so much. Or post about it on anonymous blogs. Heh.

xoxo,
Bella


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