Saturday, June 12, 2010

its late and i'm being weird

I should go to bed as I'm about to fall asleep on top of the laptop. But for some reason I can't bring myself to get up to do the necessary things you have to do before going to bed. (Don't worry, this won't digress into another post about pee).

My mind is in a constant state of wishing for things I don't have. Things I feel like I can't have, don't have, will never have. Maybe I'm just tired but I'm in a melancholy mood. (Any chance I get to use the word "melancholy" in a post, I'm taking it bishes). Is my discontent the problem or the symptom? Is the fact that I just rolled my eyes at myself after reading that sentence a sign that I'm going insane? I feel like I could do so much more than I'm doing with my life. God I'm pathetic. Maybe I spend too much time online and not enough time in real life. Maybe this blog is just a distraction to avoid doing more important things. But what things? Hell, I dunno. Feeding the homeless or saving the orphans or something I guess. I just feel like something is missing. And then I get the distinct feeling that its something I'm missing within myself, not an external thing. Fuck that makes no sense huh? Or does it? Bwahahahahahaha.

Maybe I just need some Reeses Pieces. Yeah, that has to be it.


  1. I think a lot of people have these "what am I doing with my life" thoughts, from time to time. I know I have.

    but for now, I'm just gonna think about your tits and that picture ;-)

  2. I will agree with Hubman. Whenever you have these feelings if you will simply post pics of your breasts it will make Hubman and I feel much better.

  3. I will agree with the 2 previous gentlemen :) And they prove, even the North and the South can agree on things. :) Just keep posting pics of your tits, and we will all feel better about what we are doing! I mean really can 2 guys from one Northern state, and a guy from the South be wrong?? I do not think so. Even though ive seen this pic already, its somehow hotter when u post it on the blog :) C-man.

  4. Just as a view from the female perspective...

    No complaints here about the pic either.. made me smile. Post away !

  5. Melancholy..... It's something I have felt over the last week or so.

    Sometimes we can put a finger on our discontentment. And other times we can't. And I suppose as long as it lifts or we figure it out, all is ok.

    Or just eat some Reeses Pieces. ;)


  6. It must be in the air...
    Got a load of it around here, too..
    But, it's gotta lift soon...
    Running outta Reeses Pieces.. :):)~

  7. Beautiful Bella...I love that photo.

    LOL...yes, Reese's pieces can solve so much.

    I don't know about your RL time vs. online time but perhaps volunteering somewhere will help you feel like you're doing more, and giving more.

    Peace to you,

  8. I guess it must be in the air here also. It'll be gone soon and it's more fun looking at tits anyway.

    xoxo, Crystal

  9. The feeling is universal, I think. Every day I feel hopeless. Reese's Pieces are good but Skittles will work for me!

    Keep looking, the journey is usually interesting.

    (Great, GREAT, picture!)

  10. i feel closer to you now nitebyrd, and like you a little more than yesterday.... Skittles are da bomb. :)

  11. Uh, no. Reese's Pieces are for making bicycles fly. For saving orphans and babysitting world peace, I believe what you need is to get bit by a spider.

    Obvious downside: it huits.

    Jokes aside, I get it. I've been feeling something similar lately, to the point where I'm wondering if what I need is not a career change. I've been busting my ass doing the same business for 15 years, and I haven't had the impact I wish I had had. Sure I made some businesses some money. Sure I made some customers satisfied with the money they spent. But really, what was the point?

    I guess I started doing this thinking that I didn't have much expectations. But really, I did. And it's only now, after the fact, that I'm really waking up to that. And knowing this, I'm looking at where I'm sitting, and I think, have I had the impact on this world that I would have hoped to have 15 years ago if I had been aware of my actual hopes and dreams and ambitions? Uh, no.

    Maybe I just need a Caramilk.