Friday, November 19, 2010

two fails

I felt like posting tonight so excuse me while I spew some randomness at you.

I guess you can add "Burlesque School Dropout" to my list of labels. Out of six classes total I went to four of them I think. One miss was out of my control, the other was sheer intimidation. I never quite got over that hump of "just let go and have fun even if you look like a dancing chicken with a gimp leg" thing. I'm disappointed in myself, but also proud for giving it a go. I can make up the missed classes. Will I? I doubt it.

I've come a long way from shy intimidated wallflower to where I am now but I obviously have a long way to go to get to confident carefree Bella. Each new thing I try is a learning experience and lesson in self discovery and growth. This whole topic has been swirling around in my mind for a while now and I'd like to write it out and may do that eventually, whether in this forum or elsewhere we'll see.

On a sidenote, and something new that I will NOT be trying...Girlcrush's husband (I think I talked about them on my old blog, since deleted. Don't worry, you didn't miss much) has been texting me a bit the last few days. A funny picture here, a silly joke there. He flirted, he vented, he asked me out, he asked to fuck. He's tempting as he is quite attractive, witty, smart, funny as hell and we have a good banter. But my head says that this situation is a recipe for bad news and serious drama for various reasons. I'm pulling the responsible swinger card and not going there. I told him so. He pouted. I rolled my eyes.

In order to avoid an abrupt end to this post, I'm putting a quote here. That works right? Peace out.

Don't worry, it only seems kinky the first time. ~Author Unknown



  1. Hmm ... is the second one really a fail? I commend you for not going there. I've had what seems to be a similar experience - where we had some good times with another couple, and then after the husband thought it would be OK to have some more "private" meetings with "less of a crowd." Not exactly "swinging" is it. I suggested he try Ashley Madison and let my friend meet a guy who respected her and wouldn't run around behind her back after talking her into trying the lifestyle for his own devious plans.

    Really enjoy reading your posts, Bella!


  2. We become a more complete person based on our misses, much more than on our hits. Btw,just to boost your dancing self image, you haven't seen me trying to dance in a provocative manner. Let's just say it is a sure mood killer when your partner falls in a ball on the floor laughing so hard he hyperventilates. True and it is a long story.

  3. I don't think either is a fail. Not trying the dance class because you were intimidated, *maybe* I'd call that a fail, but you went to 4/6 classes, you did it!

    Good for you, seeing a possible bad situation and not getting involved, sounds like a good decision to me.

  4. Those who never try never fail. God knows I've failed!! I also like reading about your lifestyle.

  5. Y'all know what? I'm revising my statement....those are NOT fails. Especially that second one...that is definitely a win for me, a fail for him.

  6. Well. I'm impressed. Good for you for going!

    One of my favorite quotes..... ;)


  7. Enjoyed this post. The photo is quite nice Bella.