Tuesday, October 11, 2011

sleep and willpower

I'm wanting something tonight.

One is sleep because I am so tired I can't even see straight. And as a matter of fact, my inability to function properly today caused me to end up in the men's restroom at work. I am in such a fog lately. I love my kid to death but damn, I am so glad that I only have one. Long boring parenting story. But this is the only time I have to post anything so I will groggily proceed.

Another is willpower. I've kept up with my running since May but I have not lost a pound and it is so discouraging. Sure, I know its all about what you eat, even more so than exercise and I eat crap a lot of the time. But when I do eat right for a period of time I still get no results so I say fuck it, gimme that cupcake since it doesn't seem to matter anyway. Ugh. Its a stupid cycle and I hate it. I'm so unhappy with my body but can't seem to dig deep enough to change it.

I could add many more things to this list. Confidence, courage, organizational skills, gumption, the ability to turn back time, ambition, a hot fuck in a parking garage, patience, contentment, a guilt free bowl of ice cream fer christ's sake, blah blah blah.

Sidenote: if the neighbors fucking dachshunds wake up my kid I am going to hurt somebody.

As has been my day, this post is scattered, pissy and rambling and has no point really. But that's alright. I'm going to go eat a cookie and then to bed for me.



  1. A must: You are beautiful and you haven't a thing to be down on. Very beautiful body and glowing smile! So just go find a Tincup and eat some hot chocolate out of a tiny white bowl and think of me :P

    Ya know, it isn't such a bad thing to walk into the men's room… I'm sure no one minded—especially if there was a little peep going on ;) I mean, I'm sure you could easily get a hot fuck in one…

    Here's to hoping no one gets hurt tonight—raising Fruit Taster's glass of wine for you. Sweet dreams.

  2. The real question is, did you come up with this title before or after you wrote the post? Because as far as I'm concerned, you obviously don't know what you're talking about. All your photos are really sexy. Your words always make me feel like I know you. And as for parenting, well, this is just one of those things that drives everyone nuts at some point or another. You can beat yourself up over it if you want. You're entitled. I'll hold the whip for ya. ;)

  3. You need to combine your excercise, weight lose, and general mood with sex.

    I think your WAY to hard on yourself, I dont understand where your negative self image comes from? You smart, sexy, and beautiful.

  4. You are beautiful!! I understand wanting to lose weight & having people say you're fine as you are. I wish they'd get in my head & hear the things I say to myself on weaker days. I think you should try weight training, resistance exercises. Whenever I stop losing with cardio I switch. Personally I like free weights, I mix my days with weights & yoga (cause my mind needs the calm.)

    If we lived closer, we could be work out buddies. :-) you can do it!