Wednesday, December 14, 2011

word vomit

I should be asleep but obviously am not. Or maybe I'm sleep writing which could result in some interesting revelations. Don't hold your breath. I'm quite drowsy really and don't feel completely lucid, which is when the words flow freer anyway.

Life is good in general these days. There are the usual work angst, internal struggles and parenting frustrations but I realize how fortunate I am to have what I have and to be living the life that I am. Not much in the way of the sexy is happening lately but that's all on me. It seems my sex drive is on vacation and I have zero interest in much of anything in that regard and prefer to read a book or sleep. I'm sure its one of my phases and will pass eventually. Let's hope so. I could elaborate on some things here but am not in the mood.

I have been doing quite a bit of reading lately and it's nice. I read the Hunger Games series and a couple of books for my bookclub. Next on my list is the Millennium series, borrowed from a generous friend. Mr. Man gave me a Kindle Fire for my birthday which I love fiercely.

Speaking of birthdays, I recently turned 36. Downhill to 40 now. I tried to let the day pass quietly and it did for the most part. I don't stress too much about getting older but it does give me pause sometimes and I have to quell a panic attack. Ok, maybe I do stress about aging a bit. I know I should focus on the things I have done in my years but I tend to linger on the things that I haven't but feel that I should have. This makes sense to me even if I'm not expressing it very well here.

Let's see, what else...oh, I've signed up for a half marathon in the spring and am in training mode. Scary right? A full marathon is on my bucket list but we're starting off easy. Haha. Its going pretty well I think but I have to do better about being more consistent with upping the mileage. Anyway, it's a learning process. And no, I haven't lost a fucking pound from it.

Sleepy time again.
xoxo,
Bella

2 comments:

  1. 36... pppfttttt... a mere child... trust me on that!Just keep moving forward. Life is good!

    ~shoes~

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  2. I'd like to start running. Never got around to it and it's not due to laziness. Just no damn time to do it. :(

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