true story....also, hello again

The letter was waiting for me at the front desk. 

Bella,
Go directly to Room 105. Lay out all your toys, strip down, put on your thigh highs, your collar, put the spreader bar cuffs on your wrists and the purple cuffs on your ankles. Wait on the bed face down, looking away from the door.
Love,
Sir

Being the good girl that I am, I followed the orders explicitly. I waited for what seemed like a very long time but was probably only a few minutes. He entered the room. I didn't look at him.

What follows is fuzzy in my brain as I try to recall it a few months later. He blindfolded me, moved my body into a spreadeagled position on my back, and bound each wrist and ankle to anchor points on the the bed with rope. There was vicious fucking. He slapped my face, spanked my ass and tits, choked me, bent me to his will...all the things I crave.

Of course the session is never complete without the recovery period afterwards. Which is lovely and gentle and personal and sweet. Such a fine balance of aggression and subsequent care taking.

All of these feelings are things that I refuse to be without in my life, now that I've tasted them. I realize that patience is required to find the right person at the right time with the right set of qualities to embark on this sort of thing again. But I've got nothing but time y'all.

I have fallen to my knees unable to rise, what kind of trap is this? What kind of chains has tied my hands and feet? It is so strange, so wonderful this helplessness of mine

-- Rumi

  

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Bella's back bitches! Its been a while huh? Coming back to the blog now feels right. All the gory details aren't needed on what happened in my absence. Suffice it to say that Mr. Man and I put the breaks on the open marriage and took time to regroup. After much discussion, we decided that being open is something that we both want...and daresay, that I NEED in order to have some sort of outlet for at least a portion of my wanderlust and all that shit. Luckily, its not something I have to twist an arm to get since Mr. Man wants it too. So that works in my favor.

We have tentatively dipped our toes back into the scene and have connected with a local couple. Nothing more than texts, a lunch date between me and the wife, and dinner and drinks involving all four of us have occurred so far. But we like them and they us (I think). No one is rushing anything and as usual, much advance planning has to happen for anything sexy to go down. They have kids too and a real life outside of these extracurricular activities. They are a bit more "tame" than we are so that could be interesting. They only play together in the same room whereas Mr. Man and I are kind of like "hey, go do your thing, have fun and tell me about it later!"

All this to say, I'm not sure anything will happen with them and that's totally ok if it doesn't. Just knowing that the option and outlet is there for future play is enough for me, for now.

Damn, its good to be back.

xoxo,
Bella

Meeting Clark and Dara

Disclaimer: No nakedness or sexy time takes place in this post. If that is what you're looking for, don't waste your time.

This post is past due I know. But since I waited so long, now we've gone out with our new friends twice so I have more to write about! See? Wicked smaaaat am I.

Mr. Man and I have had our profiles on a swinger site for some time now. Nothing too much has come of it with the exception of meeting one person, who Mr. Man did end up hooking up with and we are actually still friends with her IRL and on Facebook. Her ex husband and I even text occasionally and have an on again, off again flirtation although we've never met in person. Anyway. Besides that little episode, we've never both been attracted to the same couples and haven't pursued much from that site.

Until now.

Meeting # 1:

We had an email from a local couple (let's call them Clark and Dara, just because) who were interested in talking and asked us out for drinks a few weeks ago. Mr. Man is the one who usually keeps up with any activity from that site so he forwarded their message to me and asked me to check out their profile to see what I thought. They looked like a normal, average couple, and I was in a bit of a reckless mood and we had a babysitter lined up anyway, so I said what the hell, lets meet them. I know you won't believe me, but I am quite shy when it comes to meeting new people with this objective in mind. I just find it to be awkward and I've been hesitant to go "all in" with this swinger site thing. But not this night apparently.

I put on a black cashmere sweater, pretty scarf, some tight jeans, and black heels. Because you know you want to know what I wore. Nothing slutty. I was going for understated sexy. We get to the bar, a new place we'd never been to before, and I text Clark to let him know we're there. They are sitting at a table nearby so we walk up. Introductions are made and we sit.

First impressions: Dara actually looks younger in real life than in her pictures. Clark looks a bit older but that's not a bad thing. They are physically fit and overall, look like your average 40-something couple, whatever that means. They are super friendly and very easy to talk to. We have drinks and talk about kids, vacations, how we met our spouses, how we got into the "lifestyle", work, our town, prior sexual experiences, the club scene, etc. Things seem to be going well and there are no awkward long silences which is a terrifying prospect for me in this type of scenario. As the drinks flow, Clark and I get a bit flirtier. He touches my arm a couple of times. Good signs right? Mr. Man and Dara are a bit more reserve, which was expected.

There's nothing all that sexy to report. This meeting was simply that, to meet and hang out for a bit. We left the bar a few hours later and exchanged "let's do this again soon"s.

I was thinking how interesting it would be to be in their car on the ride home. Mr. Man and I had a debriefing session and talked about what we thought of them and if we wanted to see them again and I'm sure they did about us as well. The verdict: we had a great time and would definitely go out with them again if they were interested.

I did have some minor reservations that seem silly now, regarding attraction. Clark is not someone I would be initially drawn to based on looks alone. Dara isn't interested in women so that wasn't an issue. I wasn't UN-attracted to him, but I wasn't aching to jump his bones either. This bothered me a little and I'm interested in how others handle this. Do you have to be wildly attracted to the other person to consider casual sexual encounters? With those thoughts in mind, I knew that I wanted to hang out with them again in a vanilla setting to see if that swayed the balance a little bit one way or the other. It did.

Meeting # 2:

Clark and I had some flirty text conversations over the next week that were quite nice and we all agreed to go out again in a couple of weeks. That was last weekend. This time we met them at a local dive bar. Dara looked smokin' hot in knee high black boots and a short snug dress. My first reaction when I saw Clark this time was "awww, he's totally adorable". That may not be the reaction most men want from a new women they are hoping to bed, but so be it.

We played several games of pool and had more drinks (thank god for alcohol, right?) and conversation. Clark stepped up the flirting level, which I found charming and Dara and Mr. Man talked quite a bit more this time as well. After the bar, we headed to a restaurant and chatted for another hour or so. The day after, Clark and I exchanged "we had a good time" texts and thus ends our adventures with Clark and Dara for now.

The reservations I had about attraction are gone. The second "date" eased my mind and I have no lingering qualms about potential naked time with him. I can't even explain it really. Just that my uncertainty about it is no longer there. He's a fun guy who makes me laugh and I find him charming and quirky and cute. Kinda like I see myself on a good day.

Who knows what will transpire with our new friends. Its been a very positive experience so far though, and I'm very happy about that.

Stay tuned.
xoxo,
Bella

sexy cliche

Another costume to celebrate Halloween week for you lovely readers.

However, in the interest of full disclosure I must tell you that this is from a few years ago and my ass is now a couple sizes larger. Sigh. But its still very spank-able, so there is that at least.

Also, in potentially sexy weekend news, Mr. Man and I met a local couple from a swinger site for drinks last night. I'll recap that new development as soon as I get time.

xoxo,
Bella