the internets

As I slowly make my way back onto various internet thangs I remember how frustrating it can be. And yet, so very entertaining. I'm back on Fetlife and okc for starters. Vastly different websites but the basic point is the same....people looking for others with similar interests and goals. Whether that be friendship, dating, or fucking. Or any combination of those.

Fet is interesting and sexy and I find less of a vibe of desperation there. I honestly learn a lot from that site and its proven to be a decent BDSM resource for me.

On okc, I get the gamut of sincere curious questions, ridiculous propositions, lame pick up lines, and the occasional intelligent, witty, original message that peaks my interest. For now, it's an interesting diversion and considering I've met a few people on there that I continue to see and consider great friends, it's worth filtering through the douche-bags to find the cool ones.

Speaking of the internet, this blog is in sore need of a makeover, including a new platform other than Blogger given recent changes to their policy on adult content. I'm researching options so we'll see where I end up, but Bella needs a new home and a new look.

So much internet, so little time.

interlude over

I hope your holidays were lovely and sexy and at least a little bit naughty. A couple months break from this space has been good, but now I feel like writing again.

Real life is busy and the sexy life hasn't been quite as much of a priority lately, although I did have a great night with Ethan a few weeks ago that left me sore and sated for a bit. More on that another time though.

I'm bracing for post December/New Years because that's when I get a whole lotta antsy and the restlessness hits peak levels. I plan to fill the coming months with friends and fun, healthy things. January will see me taking a new yoga class, enjoying some burlesque and ramping up my running.

I'm excited to seek out fresh outlets, sexual and otherwise. We're gonna look at it as a chance for new adventures and not something to simply "get through".

For now, here's a leg selfie.

The Recap That Really Isn't

My visit with Frances was lovely, sexy, hot, fun, wild, and a bit drama filled. Loyalty is a strong and mysterious bird. And I will be completely clear and tell you that loyalty to my friend and respect for her wishes are the only thing that is keeping me from filling you in on the extremely sexy details. It bothers me a lot to have to censor, but I love her more than I feel the need to share a hot story here.

So why even bother mentioning it if I'm just going to be a tease and not give the low down dirty details? Because this blog is meant to be a diary of my sexual journey; where I can tell my secrets to strangers and have a creative outlet for feelings that I can't disclose anywhere else. Its a part of me and even if I am not at liberty to tell this particular story, I want a placeholder here, for myself especially. Because it happened and should be marked in time in some way. And this is my way.

What I can and will do, however, is share this photo from our weekend of debauchery and say that it was part of one of the sexiest and sweetest encounters I've ever had. If I think of it that way, maybe I can temper the nagging bit of resentment that twinges at my brain because I'm restrained from recapping it for reasons I don't agree with. Maybe it can be ok to keep the details of what truly happened during that few days close to my heart and only known to the three people involved. Its a delicious secret that I can relive in my head and have for always.

xoxo,
Bella

classic booty call and blogging boundaries

Or is it called a booty text these days?

"So, are you open this week? I could use some great dick sucking and hot sex."

That's one of the things I like about ol' Dave, he doesn't beat around the bush. Straight to the point that one. As it happened, I was open this week and accepted his booty text. It was an interesting encounter.

But first...Over the past week I've learned some things about Dave that I didn't know. He's quite "bi-friendly" (is that a legit term?) and jonesin' for a MFM and/or MFF threesome thang. We've had some colorful discussions about that over the past few days. I don't know that anything will come of it, or if I will even be involved, but it's quite fun to talk about for now. So there's that.

And then there was today. I've cried a couple of times during sex with him and I think it freaks him out a little bit, poor guy. It's not a bad crying, but rather an emotional release crying of the good sort that only happens when a Dominant partner is able to tap into that part of me that craves to be submissive and trusting and vulnerable. Today my emotional outburst was a result of anal. (I know this is a sex blog but sometimes I wonder if I get TMI on y'all.) He loves the booty and I rarely do the back door thing. I have no idea why I did it today except that he had me in that sub place with the combo of rough and gentle that works so well on me. He was great and gentle and patient and caring and I couldn't have assed (see what I did there? haha) for a better experience. However, he is, um, rather large so if I'm walking funny tomorrow there is a damn good reason.

Now we come to the part of the post where I hesitate. While this blog is anonymous and I feel like I try to be fastidious about the privacy of my partners, there are some things that give me pause and I wonder if I'm overstepping some invisible ethical boundary by sharing them here. Then I think, but this is MY blog dammit, I can write what I want. I wonder if I should use the guideline of...would I write about this if I knew my partner was going to be reading it? But then that brings me back to self-censoring, which I abhor. Something for me to think about I guess.

With that said, for now I'll skip a few details about the rest of my tryst and just say that it was great fun and ended with a very loud orgasm via vibrator by moi, and then Dave and I naked on the couch laughing hysterically at really bad porn. What a world huh?

Until next time.

xoxo,
Bella

meet Aaron

First, a couple of notes before I introduce you to Aaron.

• I had mentioned a few posts before regarding being unsure about the rules of Mr. Man and my relationship boundaries and I don't believe I gave any update on that situation. We had a really great talk a few weeks ago about how things were going and our expectations of each other. I came away feeling really good about that conversation and getting the clarification that I needed. We talked about many things but as far as what I want to share here, the bottom line is that we are each free to do what we want, as long as we practice safe sex and (for me especially), are physically safe and comfortable. I hate confinement and let's be honest, marriage can feel confining sometimes. So this level of freedom suits me to a T.

• Lest you think I am just running around town having sex willy-nilly, I assure you that I am not. Not that it would matter if I were, mind you. The action in an open relationship seems to be feast or famine. Right now, it's feast and I won't deny that I'm enjoying it. As it should be. Honestly though, while I don't want to limit myself, I don't know that I can handle more than a couple of regular partners outside my marriage at a time. Although I don't talk about it much here, believe it or not, I do have a life outside of sex. That said, Dave and I will be a regular thing for a while I think. And now...

Now enter, Aaron.

We "met" online and began a series of steamy, interesting and at times, intellectual conversations. I could tell this guy was different and y'all know how I like different. A coffee shop meeting was arranged and I busted in the door all breathless from the freezing temperatures and from being late, as is my modus operandi. I spotted him immediately, all handsome and charming, drinking his fancy coffee by the window. Remember when I mentioned that I couldn't find a tall guy? That streak is now broken as Aaron is much taller than I, a nice physical change from my norm.

We greeted each other with smiles and discreet sizing up (at least I did) and then I got in line to order some hot chocolate. While waiting to order, Aaron texted me from behind, "yes I am ogling". Ha. This was somewhat of an inside joke as I had made a reference to him ogling me in a scenario we had discussed previously. But anyway, the timely text made me giggle and say yay for tight sweater dresses and cute boots.

Hot chocolate obtained and Aaron and I talked about all kinds of things for a good while. I'm a sucker for a tall musician with wit and brains, so I knew within minutes that I was interested in taking things further. And when he slyly mentioned taking me on the table behind us, I knew he was as well. Its so nice when people see eye to eye on such things isn't it?

Alas, I had to get to work at some point that day so we headed to our respective vehicles and I asked if I could kiss him. I'm forward like that. Warm kisses in the middle of a freezing parking lot with the promise of more to come? Quite delicious. As was the dark chocolate bar he gifted me before we parted. Great kisser, a beard, physical height, an open mind, philosophical views that greatly match my own, musical talent, and chocolate? There was NO way he wasn't getting into my panties.

And the next day, he did just that.

We've seen each other a couple of times since then. Even had lunch together one day, fully clothed. He lives quite close to my workplace...convenient right? He reads this blog and although I have his blessing to post about our encounters, I'm never sure how much to kiss and tell when I know my partner is reading. It definitely makes me more conscious of what I write. That makes me think of an "ethics in sex blogging" post that I've been stewing about writing. But I'm getting off topic.

Aaron is drama free, extremely open minded, and sex with him is honestly, fucking great. He's more than happy to bring my toys into bed and thank god he doesn't have neighbors because, well, y'all know how loud I can be. We also share a love for um, webcams...being watched and watching others. And I have to mention, he has great hair. I know I'm a weirdo but I love this guy's hair. Thick and wavy and soft and I just really like to touch it. Another thing I like to touch is his cock. A lot. With my mouth. I can't get enough. As you can see from the photo here (edited) that Aaron took for me to show Mr. Man. Hot hot hot.

So that's Aaron. I hope to see him again as long as there is mutual interest. It's very cool to be able to have great sex with someone and not have to worry about drama, jealousy, possessiveness, or any of that shit that can make things complicated. As well, there is so much potential for fun with someone who is open to sharing, in all aspects of the word.

xoxo,
Bella

true story....also, hello again

The letter was waiting for me at the front desk. 

Bella,
Go directly to Room 105. Lay out all your toys, strip down, put on your thigh highs, your collar, put the spreader bar cuffs on your wrists and the purple cuffs on your ankles. Wait on the bed face down, looking away from the door.
Love,
Sir

Being the good girl that I am, I followed the orders explicitly. I waited for what seemed like a very long time but was probably only a few minutes. He entered the room. I didn't look at him.

What follows is fuzzy in my brain as I try to recall it a few months later. He blindfolded me, moved my body into a spreadeagled position on my back, and bound each wrist and ankle to anchor points on the the bed with rope. There was vicious fucking. He slapped my face, spanked my ass and tits, choked me, bent me to his will...all the things I crave.

Of course the session is never complete without the recovery period afterwards. Which is lovely and gentle and personal and sweet. Such a fine balance of aggression and subsequent care taking.

All of these feelings are things that I refuse to be without in my life, now that I've tasted them. I realize that patience is required to find the right person at the right time with the right set of qualities to embark on this sort of thing again. But I've got nothing but time y'all.

I have fallen to my knees unable to rise, what kind of trap is this? What kind of chains has tied my hands and feet? It is so strange, so wonderful this helplessness of mine

-- Rumi

  

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Bella's back bitches! Its been a while huh? Coming back to the blog now feels right. All the gory details aren't needed on what happened in my absence. Suffice it to say that Mr. Man and I put the breaks on the open marriage and took time to regroup. After much discussion, we decided that being open is something that we both want...and daresay, that I NEED in order to have some sort of outlet for at least a portion of my wanderlust and all that shit. Luckily, its not something I have to twist an arm to get since Mr. Man wants it too. So that works in my favor.

We have tentatively dipped our toes back into the scene and have connected with a local couple. Nothing more than texts, a lunch date between me and the wife, and dinner and drinks involving all four of us have occurred so far. But we like them and they us (I think). No one is rushing anything and as usual, much advance planning has to happen for anything sexy to go down. They have kids too and a real life outside of these extracurricular activities. They are a bit more "tame" than we are so that could be interesting. They only play together in the same room whereas Mr. Man and I are kind of like "hey, go do your thing, have fun and tell me about it later!"

All this to say, I'm not sure anything will happen with them and that's totally ok if it doesn't. Just knowing that the option and outlet is there for future play is enough for me, for now.

Damn, its good to be back.

xoxo,
Bella

Adding Tumblr

I've started a Tumblr, because there are too many damn sexy photos that are BEGGING to be shared.

All of my personal writing and photos will still be housed here on Being Bella. My Tumblr is just for when you feel the need to jerk off to others. Haha. Seriously though, there are some beautiful things on Tumblr that I love. And I'm all about the sharing. Free love y'all!

I've linked it here, and on my sidebar. Enjoy! I know I am.

xoxo,
Bella