Tuesday, January 3, 2012

just cuddle me dammit

Here's a little secret.

Sometimes I don't want sex but I do want to just cuddle. Cliche? Perhaps, but that doesn't make it not true. I don't always need or want sex to feel intimacy. And it hurts my feelings a smidge when I can't just be held or caressed without being expected to "put out" as the grand finale of a cuddle session. It kind of taints the enjoyment of the touching. Because in my crazy little brain I'm thinking, "ok, we've been cuddling for about 3.42 minutes, I'll probably be expected to spread'em in another 2.56 or so"...I'm counting how much time I have left to enjoy the cuddling. So maybe that's a slight exaggeration but you get my point.

The truth of the matter is that the closer I feel to you, the more I will want to rip your clothes off and fuck your brains out. And I feel closer to you when we can sometimes just cuddle, talk, kiss, hold hands, watch tv together in bed snuggled under the covers, all that girly mushy crap. Sometimes I like just doing those things and that's enough for the time being. Maybe you won't get sex after snuggling with me tonight, but tomorrow night I will be remembering how sweet you were, how good it felt to be in your arms, what a romantic guy you are, and I will want to ride you like a drunk cowgirl. That way, we both win!

Bottom line...occasional cuddling-only sessions will fuel future passionate fuck sessions. Trust me, it really works that way. I'm all for a better balance of sex and cuddling. Fair and Balanced Sex and Cuddling folks, that's my platform.

That is all. Goodnight.



  1. Love it, love it, love it. I'd vote for you with that platform. Where do I put in my checkmark?

    See? That's what I was telling you. I was trying to say something similar when I wrote Sleeping with Someone is Underrated but you said it much better.

  2. I agree with every word you say, but sadly because women are wired differently from men there will always be this different perception.

    I've tried to explain to my husband over the years and he STILL doesn't get it. Not that he gets anything now......sex has been off his agenda for years due to illness.

  3. This makes such perfect sense. I honestly think this was a huge contributing factor to me losing interest in my husband (erotically) - I just haven't realized until now. Wow, this gives me a lot to think about... thank you.

  4. http://disentanglingjohanna.wordpress.com/2012/01/05/cuddling-i-get-it-now/

  5. Completely agree! I haven't had sex in some time, and really all that I would like right now is someone to just cuddle me for an hour. Especially now that I'm alone, I miss human to human contact.