my head. it is a'sploding.

A lesser woman would probably delete the demonically possessed post below but fuck it. Sometimes you just have to keep it real and besides, constant sunshine and rainbows is complete bullshit. You gotta let the ugly out occasionally or it will eat you alive.

Random thoughts swirling in my throbbing head...

I have an urge to go shopping. I have an excellent reason with the new job I start on Monday. Wait, what am I saying? You don't need a reason.

Sometimes you run across someone who you really click with, have a lot in common with, and who seems to be on the same wavelength, despite obvious differences. I've been exchanging some novel length emails with such a person. We'll call him "Mark" and leave it at that for now.

You should know that I am writing this post because it is after 1:00 am and I am procrastinating on laundry and some housework that must get done before I go to work in the morning. And by "work" I mean lugging boxes of personal belongings to my car.

Do not throw Bible verses at my friends who are suffering in ways you can never understand. Just because you believe that "God" is your almighty strength and will never leave you hanging, don't assume that belief is right for everyone. Jesus Fucking Christ people, get a clue. And leave my friends alone with that shit. They need support, not a goddamn sermon.

Would you believe that I never used to curse until well into my adult years? Shocking I know.

There's a quote by Rose Kennedy that says, “It has been said, 'time heals all wounds.' I do not agree. The wounds remain. In time, the mind, protecting its sanity, covers them with scar tissue and the pain lessens. But it is never gone." True story.

I have a serious girl crush on Emma Stone. She has the best face ever.

The End.

Head

As in a wicked bad massive utterly debilitating headache. You perverts. It's 3:00 am. I just gave myself an orgasm in a desperate attempt to get relief. It helped for the several seconds of ecstasy, but now I'm back to wanting to chop my head off and feed it to wild dogs.

I concentrated on Jake to get off (who is apparently no longer speaking to me for reasons I am unaware of, and that makes me very very sad. Stupid boys). This encounter in particular. It stands as one of the hottest encounters in my book of record. And there was no nakedness, just groping and kissing and heavy breathing. Mmmmmmm. I think a lot of it has to do with YEARS of wanting and build up. My heart jumps and I get those elusive flutters in my tummy whenever I replay that scene over in my head. Dammit, sex with him would be epically hot. But it doesn't seem to be in the cards. Why are all the men I want outside of my marriage unavailable to me???? What is wrong with the fucking Universe??? Stupid Universe.

Back to cradling my head in my hands and curling up into the fetal position.
xoxo,
Bella