As said to a close girlfriend today...
I wish my outside matched my inside. Inside I'm this sexy, dirty, fuck girl. But outside I'm a frumpy, dumpy middle-aged mom. It's a complete mind fuck for me if I think about it too much. The seemingly obvious answer is to make more of an effort to bring those two identities closer to alignment with my appearance, but then I feel like I'd just look like an old lady who's trying too hard.
Never one to turn down a good pool table fuck I gasped, "the table," and he growled his approval. He took my hand and led me slowly up the steps. Part of me wanted to run up those steps, so eager to get my hands and mouths on these cocks, but the torture was too delicious to waste. Besides, I wasn't in control here.
The upstairs room was large and sparse. A dark wood pool table, the balls haphazardly strewn across green felt took up the far corner by a large window overlooking the street. Not far from the table against a wall was a small couch. It appeared I had options up here, too. Through the window I could see someone walking their dog. That struck me as such a ridiculous and mundane thing to be happening when I was about to have two men use me as they pleased in a stranger's game room.
LL pulled me to him and kissed me, hard. He slid his hand inside the back of my unzipped jeans and squeezed my ass. We kissed each other hungrily while simultaneously grappling with each other's clothes until we were both naked, his dark skin an erotic contrast to my paleness. Out of the corner of my eye I noticed RJ sitting on the couch watching us with a hand on the bulge in his pants. I hadn't heard him come up the stairs behind us; he was a quiet observer, that one.
LL placed both hands on my bare hips and walked me backwards until my ass was pressed against the cold hard wood of the pool table. I wrapped my arms around his neck and he lifted me up to sit on the edge. My legs opened, inviting him in. He shook his head. Again, I was not the one in control. He gently pushed me down onto my back on the table, the clinking of pool balls startled me as he brushed them out of the way.
He was on top of me then, his mouth and hands roughly exploring everywhere on my writhing body as if he hadn't touched and kissed every inch of me many times before. But today... today wasn't like any other time. I could feel his huge cock pressing against my belly. Finally, he parted my legs with his knee and slid his length inside me. I cried out at the sensation of being so abruptly filled. He began fucking me fast and sure, his shallow breathing in my ear. I cried out, "please, slow down, please," I begged him. Partly because I wanted to savor him and partly because I didn't know if I could take the intensity of him all at once like this. Every cell in my body was on fire, my skin felt electric, my head dizzy. My plea seemed to make him regain some sense of control and he slowed his pumping. We kissed, softer this time and I ran my nails down his back. We stayed like that, keeping up a slow steady rhythm for a few glorious minutes.
Then, "Where's RJ? Tell him to come over here." It was a command I was not about to disobey. I turned my head and made eye contact with RJ. He was still sitting on the couch watching us... his dark cock out and hard... his hand stroking. I flashed him a brazen smile and motioned him over.
A week later I parked my car in the driveway of a small house at the end of a cul de sac. I walked up to the porch, unfastened the third button of my shirt, and pushed open the already cracked door. My eyes had to adjust to the dimly lit room but quickly found LL's solid muscular form silhouetted in the windows of two sliding doors leading out to a backyard deck. He was as beautiful as ever. Skin a warm umber brown, tattooed in all the right places, jet black hair, and full soft lips that could make me shiver when they touched me, and those deep brown expressive eyes of his.
After my conversation with him last week, I had spent the last several days swirling things around in my head wondering if this escapade was a good idea or was it just... weird. One of my most open minded friends was hesitant and advised me to proceed with caution. I certainly understood and appreciated her concern. This wasn't really your run-of-the-mill threesome, this was a threesome with two brothers. But in my mind, it was just naughty enough, just taboo enough to make me squirm and anticipate delicious possibilities. I knew if I didn't go for it I'd always wonder. Besides, I trusted LL implicitly and he had assured me that he'd talked to his brother about ground rules. Nothing was going to happen that I wasn't comfortable with, condoms were nonnegotiable, and he made it clear that they had no plans to "cross swords," as he put it.
LL embraced me in a firm, reassuring bear hug and kissed me hello. He led me out onto the wooden deck facing a huge backyard. A lean bodied man with LL's same skin tone and identical brown eyes looked shyly at me as he sat atop the deck railing.
"This is my brother, RJ. RJ, this is Bella."
What's the protocol for greeting a stranger who is about to join his brother in fucking you? A hug, handshake, high five? We did none of those, just said hello and gave each other slow, awkward smiles. LL slid quietly back inside for reasons unknown, leaving RJ and I to converse alone.
"So, how are you?" RJ spoke in a warm Louisiana accent that my Tennessee ears weren't used to, but that made my knees nearly buckle with its sexy drawl. I don't recall what I said back, probably something about how I was good and what did he think about the weather here. We chatted for a few minutes and then decided to see what LL was up to in the kitchen.
Rolling a joint was what LL was up to, and I was thankful. I could use something to relax my nerves. RJ settled on a stool on the other side of the bar while LL stood behind me as we passed the joint around. I felt LL's hands on either side of my hips working his fingers inside the waistband of my pants, massaging gently. His mouth went to my ear and he whispered, "Are you ok? Do you still want to do this?" His words instantly calmed me (or most likely, it was a combination of that and the weed) and I nodded and murmured an emphatic "yes."
With consent confirmed, LL's hands unhooked my bra from behind and his hands encircled my breasts and squeezed as his lips nibbled at my neck. I moaned, arched my back, pressed my ass into LL's crotch, and locked eyes with RJ who was puffing on the joint and watching us with a slight smile. LL unzipped my jeans and wriggled his way under my panties to find me dripping and ready for whatever was about to happen to me at the hands of these two tantalizing brothers.
To be continued...
Even before the pandemic, LL and I liked to take walks and chat.
"Remember that time I said that I wouldn't ever want to share you, like, at the same time, in the same room? Well, what if I found someone who I would share you with like that?"
My curiosity was piqued. "I'm listening."
He went on, "You might think this is a bit weird...it's my brother."
No stranger to threesomes, I still wasn't expecting THAT. So of course, I said yes.
To be continued...
I don't have many good things to say about the state of the world, the U.S. in particular, right now. We're living in the upside down, watching a raging dumpster fire--a shit storm of corruption, racism, threats to women's rights, environmental and economic crisis. Oh, and that little pandemic thing. And that's just the short list.
COVID has fucked up a lot of things, I daresay most things. Sex though... that pleasure ought to still provide us with a lovely escape from the outside world. Right? Right?!?!?!? Yes, but it looks different now, at least different for those who take COVID seriously.
These bizarre times have made many of us in the open/poly* community take a good long look at how we're engaging in extracurricular activities and reassessing the risks and what our sex lives must look like now for our safety and the safety of our partners. I'm seeing kinky Twitter friends bemoaning the lack of sex lately and wondering when conditions will allow them to return to multiple partners as usual. It feels confining. Restrictive. As if some folks didn't have enough restrictions in their lives before becoming open, now it feels like they're back inside a different sort of locked box with taunting memories of the free love, open sex lives they used to lead.
It's changed for me, too. Pre-COVID, I had 3-5 partners I'd see on occasion. I've never been much of a one-night-stand, swinger party kind of girl. I consider my partners as friends (some closer than others of course) who I can hang out with, have great conversations with, AND have NSA sex with. I was already operating in a sort of safety bubble that felt good and right for me. When COVID became a thing, even this relative safe space didn't feel good or right anymore. Mr. Man and I take the pandemic very seriously. We mask, pulled our kid out of extracurricular activities and into distance learning, I moved to remote work only, etc. We are not playing with this thing. I/we had to consider how our open status impacted the safety of our family.
Of my handful of partners, Joe was one who took COVID as seriously as I did, and he just happened to be the one I saw most often anyway. We had many conversations about the pandemic, the easy, drama-freeness of our thing, and what made us feel safe and what didn't. I trust his decision making and for now, he's the only one I'm seeing outside of my marriage. We've ramped up how often we hang out and it's been pretty much an every weekend thing lately. It's working out great so far, and while I try to only speak for myself in this space, I think it's safe to say that he's pretty keen on it as well. So far, I don't feel restricted--I feel safe and good about making what I consider to be a smart choice about my sex life.
How long will this last? Who the fuck knows. Nobody knows anything anymore, do they? I made a comment to Joe last weekend about wondering what my non monogamous life will look like after COVID. But really, what will anything look like after COVID? We're all trying to make the best of a shitty situation. I'd like to think that in the coming months things might look a bit closer to what they were before. But for now, I'm going to don my mask and run to the liquor store in preparation for a sleepover with Joe. My upside down looks pretty good right now, considering.
*I have never settled on a label that feels right for my particular situation. I guess "open" is as close as it gets. Or just simply "non monogamous." I'm not really poly. Definitely not a swinger. I'm just a married woman who loves sex with a few extra partners.
Photo by Crawford Jolly on Unsplash
