Joe

This town and it's hot musicians y'all. I can't even stand it sometimes. Just when my cynicism about the state of the open/poly/non-monogamous male population reaches a peak, along comes a total sweetheart like Joe. It's been several months ago that we met on OKC and I honestly can't even remember what our first conversation was like but I think I'm the one who messaged him first. Maybe. Even that's foggy. He just seems to have always been around. 

I do remember our first meeting however. Lunch at a local bar. I walked in and there he was, in all his blue-eyed, bearded glory. Sometimes you just get a good feeling about someone and I liked Joe immediately. I do remember that rush of nervous awkwardness within the first few minutes of introductions and initial conversation*. Then food arrived and maybe a beer but I don't remember. We talked about our jobs, relationships, our open/poly marriages and how different experiencing that and being that in the South versus "out West" can be. 

There's always this pause after a meal or a drink when you wonder if the connection is mutual, what happens next, etc. All these thoughts happen in a matter of seconds. In this case the next step was an obvious "I'd like to see you again, how about a walk right now?" And so we did. We walked around a nearby park, peeked through a fence at a guitar shaped pool (it was on Music Row, after all), and then got snuggly on a park bench for the next half hour. After it was obvious that we both wanted this to go further, Joe was openly affectionate. As my tweet says, he is a hand-holding, back-rubbing, arm-around-your-shoulders, hand-on-the-small-of-your-back, kissing kind of guy. That kind of physicality in public is not really Mr. Man's style, so I welcomed the refreshing intimacy of it. 

Since that first meeting many months ago, we've seen each other semi-regularly but not nearly as much as either of us would like. There have been several hot and heavy make-out sessions in the car, blowjobs, sexting, sweet dinner and lunch dates, and I even played groupie and went to one of his shows. Due to logistical circumstances, we didn't have sex for what seemed like forever. It was glorious torture. Finally schedules and stars aligned and we got a hotel room for a night. Whew. There's nothing like sex for the first time with a new person. Does that sounds slutty? Fuck it. I own my sexuality and I love it. 

He spent the winter months in a state far away but we texted throughout. I'm happy to report that we reconnected when he got back and have since enjoyed each others company several times. Ahem. He's good. Very good. He takes his time and knows what he's doing. For the record, vaginal massage is a thing....that he knows how to do.

So that's Joe. Here's to nice guys with beards who enjoy sex as much as I do.

*Meeting someone new for the first time in this capacity is scary, and a rush. It just is. I'm holding that thought for another post about the psychology of that event.

adventures in online shenanigans

This week's *adventures on okcupid...persistent men.

• If I didn't respond to your first two messeages, I'm probably not going to respond to your next ten. 
• Thank you for your phone number (that I didn't ask for) but I'll not be using it.
• If you insist on calling me "babe" or "beautiful" or "honey" or "darling" or any other patronizing endearment, I will cut you. At least mentally.
• Don't repeatedly bug me about meeting up with you.
• I do not want your unsolicited cock photo.
• Message of the day from someone who'd already messaged me and I hadn't responded..."Hey babe, I'm waiting for your text (gives me his number again). I want the same thing you do. Looking forward to hearing from you." No, you are not looking for the same thing I am. Read the profile again. Or actually, don't. Just go away.

Maybe this makes me sound like a bitchy okc user, but I think not for the most part. Because there are a handful of people who send the right mix of polite but not boring, funny but not ridiculous, interesting but not too bizarre messages and we engage in enjoyable adult conversation just fine.

*I may make this a regular series. Ha.

In other news...

• Mr. Man had a date tonight that didn't work out. I was asleep when he got home so I didn't get details yet but it was one of those not-really-compatible, not his/her type kind of things. A bummer but it happens.
• Considering a profile on openminded.com
• I am bored

xoxo,
Bella

what just happened?

I passed on going to Cash's tonight for reasons that are legit, but sound lame now and make me feel really old. Here's a list.

• I would have had to get out of a cozy warm bed and change from comfy leggings and an ill-fitting tank into something sufficiently alluring
• He lives 45 minutes away and I'd already driven 100+ miles today
• I knew I'd be there all damn night and would be miserably tired tomorrow because I have a child who doesn't care (and shouldn't) about mom's booty calls. In other words, sleeping in for the amount of recovery time I'd need is not an option.
• The prep was overwhelming and would've taken over an hour...shower, shave legs/armpits/naughty bits, fix hair, do makeup, get dressed
• Prep time, one hour +. Drive time, approx. 2 hours round trip. That equals 3 hours of lameness for about 5 hours of sex and conversation. I suppose that's not bad but I wasn't feeling those odds tonight.

I told him I might could come over tomorrow afternoon, but I have work on Monday and couldn't stay past a reasonable hour.

I would like to turn in my responsible adult card immediately.

interlude over

I hope your holidays were lovely and sexy and at least a little bit naughty. A couple months break from this space has been good, but now I feel like writing again.

Real life is busy and the sexy life hasn't been quite as much of a priority lately, although I did have a great night with Ethan a few weeks ago that left me sore and sated for a bit. More on that another time though.

I'm bracing for post December/New Years because that's when I get a whole lotta antsy and the restlessness hits peak levels. I plan to fill the coming months with friends and fun, healthy things. January will see me taking a new yoga class, enjoying some burlesque and ramping up my running.

I'm excited to seek out fresh outlets, sexual and otherwise. We're gonna look at it as a chance for new adventures and not something to simply "get through".

For now, here's a leg selfie.

hot nights and rum cake

He asked me to dress up, so I left my house in black lace hugging every curve and stockings pulled over silky smooth legs.

I got to his place at 10:30pm and he met me at my car and pulled me into a tight hug followed by frenzied deep kisses. His hands ran under my soft cotton dress to find the lace hidden underneath. Hands flew over bodies and clothes were removed and thrown onto the concrete patio. He drew me into the closest doorway which happened to be the guesthouse bedroom. He sat in a chair by the window and I knelt between his legs, he grabbed a handful of my hair and I gave him one of the many things he'd been waiting for since I told him I was coming over that night.

It had been a few weeks and we couldn't get to the fucking part fast enough. We moved to the bed and it was hot in every meaning of the word. Sexy hot and no air conditioning in the South hot. Sweaty, steamy, slick, primal-like fucking. I'd missed him and he me.

Our initial urges sated, we followed the trail of clothes back outside and got caught up on each others regular life happenings. The rest of the night followed a similar pattern of sexual activity, cuddling, conversation, and repeating. We also finally got around to that cliche over-the-bathroom-counter-hang-onto-the-faucet-and-look-into-the-mirror-fuck. And then there was rum cake. 

A night with Cash is like a mini-vacation for my brain and body. We have great fun together and I like him a lot on all the levels. Which means it will probably end soon and I should brace myself. Haha, I'm kidding. Sort of. #cynicalbella #rumcakeisyummy

Xoxo,
Bella

i like that word, "romping"

I had quite the lovely evening with a very sweet, sexy, and handsome younger man last night. I won't recount the details right now, but perhaps soon. I mentioned the blog to him but haven't given him the link yet. and I really would prefer that he feel comfortable with me writing about our activities.

Suffice it to say that drinks were consumed, conversation was had, and then a few hours of naked romping occurred.

And now, I am tired. Sweet dreams.

xoxo,
Bella

meet Aaron

First, a couple of notes before I introduce you to Aaron.

• I had mentioned a few posts before regarding being unsure about the rules of Mr. Man and my relationship boundaries and I don't believe I gave any update on that situation. We had a really great talk a few weeks ago about how things were going and our expectations of each other. I came away feeling really good about that conversation and getting the clarification that I needed. We talked about many things but as far as what I want to share here, the bottom line is that we are each free to do what we want, as long as we practice safe sex and (for me especially), are physically safe and comfortable. I hate confinement and let's be honest, marriage can feel confining sometimes. So this level of freedom suits me to a T.

• Lest you think I am just running around town having sex willy-nilly, I assure you that I am not. Not that it would matter if I were, mind you. The action in an open relationship seems to be feast or famine. Right now, it's feast and I won't deny that I'm enjoying it. As it should be. Honestly though, while I don't want to limit myself, I don't know that I can handle more than a couple of regular partners outside my marriage at a time. Although I don't talk about it much here, believe it or not, I do have a life outside of sex. That said, Dave and I will be a regular thing for a while I think. And now...

Now enter, Aaron.

We "met" online and began a series of steamy, interesting and at times, intellectual conversations. I could tell this guy was different and y'all know how I like different. A coffee shop meeting was arranged and I busted in the door all breathless from the freezing temperatures and from being late, as is my modus operandi. I spotted him immediately, all handsome and charming, drinking his fancy coffee by the window. Remember when I mentioned that I couldn't find a tall guy? That streak is now broken as Aaron is much taller than I, a nice physical change from my norm.

We greeted each other with smiles and discreet sizing up (at least I did) and then I got in line to order some hot chocolate. While waiting to order, Aaron texted me from behind, "yes I am ogling". Ha. This was somewhat of an inside joke as I had made a reference to him ogling me in a scenario we had discussed previously. But anyway, the timely text made me giggle and say yay for tight sweater dresses and cute boots.

Hot chocolate obtained and Aaron and I talked about all kinds of things for a good while. I'm a sucker for a tall musician with wit and brains, so I knew within minutes that I was interested in taking things further. And when he slyly mentioned taking me on the table behind us, I knew he was as well. Its so nice when people see eye to eye on such things isn't it?

Alas, I had to get to work at some point that day so we headed to our respective vehicles and I asked if I could kiss him. I'm forward like that. Warm kisses in the middle of a freezing parking lot with the promise of more to come? Quite delicious. As was the dark chocolate bar he gifted me before we parted. Great kisser, a beard, physical height, an open mind, philosophical views that greatly match my own, musical talent, and chocolate? There was NO way he wasn't getting into my panties.

And the next day, he did just that.

We've seen each other a couple of times since then. Even had lunch together one day, fully clothed. He lives quite close to my workplace...convenient right? He reads this blog and although I have his blessing to post about our encounters, I'm never sure how much to kiss and tell when I know my partner is reading. It definitely makes me more conscious of what I write. That makes me think of an "ethics in sex blogging" post that I've been stewing about writing. But I'm getting off topic.

Aaron is drama free, extremely open minded, and sex with him is honestly, fucking great. He's more than happy to bring my toys into bed and thank god he doesn't have neighbors because, well, y'all know how loud I can be. We also share a love for um, webcams...being watched and watching others. And I have to mention, he has great hair. I know I'm a weirdo but I love this guy's hair. Thick and wavy and soft and I just really like to touch it. Another thing I like to touch is his cock. A lot. With my mouth. I can't get enough. As you can see from the photo here (edited) that Aaron took for me to show Mr. Man. Hot hot hot.

So that's Aaron. I hope to see him again as long as there is mutual interest. It's very cool to be able to have great sex with someone and not have to worry about drama, jealousy, possessiveness, or any of that shit that can make things complicated. As well, there is so much potential for fun with someone who is open to sharing, in all aspects of the word.

xoxo,
Bella

Dave, Poindexter, and faking it on a nooner

Ok, so I caved. Dave and I rescheduled because I'm quite weak, I like sex and he's really good at it, in that aggressive Alpha male kind of way. Its so interesting how different men have different natural styles of fucking. Same for women. Dave's style is confident, assertive, a bit rough, and damn bossy. And I crave those things sometimes but not always.

This encounter was to be a quickie on my lunch hour so I drove to his place and we wasted no time scattering clothing on his living room floor. He sat back on the couch and I sank to my knees in front of his hard and rather large cock. I pleasured him with a sloppy juicy blowjob for a while and then we got out some toys I'd brought. If my coworkers only knew what I carry around in my briefcase...

He commanded me to turn around, bend over, and spread my ass cheeks for him. Grrrrrrr. He has a thing for ass play, which has never been my favorite but I'm warming to it the more I experiment. He explored various parts of me with toy and fingers and then I asked to be fucked. I lay on my back and he mounted me (condom on of course). He still had my rotating dildo g-spot clit stimulator toy (let's just name it Poindexter for simplicity's sake) in his hand and decided to see what it felt like to insert Poindexter and his cock into me at the same time. Know what it felt like? DAMN GOOD that's what. He exploded inside me very soon afterwards and whew, good stuff.

We played around a bit more and while I didn't achieve you-know-what, I was satisfied and not at all disappointed. But I do have a confession...I totally faked it. I swear, I NEVER do that but dude was trying so very hard and I was in a hurry to go and I didn't want it to be a big thing. Sigh. Do not lecture me please. I'm not proud of it as I am of the mindset that I shouldn't have to fake it. Ever. A man has to be willing to get to know my body, work at it and not be afraid to accept a little help from me to witness The Event. And even with all that, his ego has to be able to take it if it just doesn't happen for me. In Dave's defense, he knows I'm not an easy cummer and would have been perfectly ok if I had just said it wasn't going to happen. So I'm not sure why I didn't just say that. I'm weird and broke one of my personal rules by faking it. It won't happen again. See, I just lectured myself so you don't have to.

All of this reminds me that I've been meaning to write a post about the mysteriousness of Bella's Big O, as it is a tricky and elusive bitch. I almost feel like men need to read a user's manual before attempting. Some assembly required and please read all instructions, etc. I shall write such a manual and post it here for reference purposes. You're welcome.

But back to Dave. He had a riding crop and wooden paddle that we tried out. On me of course because I have a spanking thing. This was after playtime and we were just being silly but I did come away with quite the red ass from our little testing session. We then dressed, chatted a bit and I made my way back to the office, sex hair and all. I plan to see him again. Yay, sex!

xoxo,
Bella

take me home

They sat on the couch in the bookstore cafe. Her winter coat covered bare legs, a discreet invitation for him to slip his hand underneath to touch smooth naked skin. Always the planner, she had worn a dress that hit her at mid-thigh, boots, and no panties or bra. If any other customers happened to glance at the pair, they would only notice two people having a casual conversation and not the fact that his fingers had made their way between the folds of flesh between her legs to the wetness underneath.

"Let's go to your car, now," she demanded while smiling pleasantly at him as if she'd just asked how his day had been. He smiled back at her, gripped her elbow, and they briskly walked between the shelves and into the parking garage. Once inside the car, she attacked him. On her knees in her seat she leaned her body onto his and kissed him hard while his hand slid under her dress and cupped her ass. She massaged his cock through his jeans while his fingers, first one, then two, then three and four slid inside her dripping slit.

They were both hungry and the car just wouldn't do.

"You need to take me home."

"Yes, yes I believe I do."

a coffee date and my brain

Not much to report in the sexy realm these days...that I can write about anyway. I am meeting "Dave", a new guy for coffee tomorrow so that will be fun. Or something. I'm not sure he's my type but I'm bored and have some free time so whatever.

I've found myself confiding in strangers a lot lately, which is interesting to me because I always try to analyze myself and try to figure out why I do the things I do or feel the way I feel. Why is it easier and many times less frightening to tell your secrets to someone you don't even know than it is to share them with your closest friends? Maybe because you are less likely to give two shits about what a stranger may think of you after knowing the secrets? Hmmmmm.

The human brain is a many splendored thing...actually no, I think that was love or something.

I'll let you know how my coffee date goes tomorrow.

xoxo,
Bella

lessons from a drunken sleepover

I figured I need to write about the "sleepover" at Cash's if I'm ever going to, so here we go.

The short version, if you're pressed for time or something is that I had fun but my ass got too drunk and didn't have as much control of the situation as I should've, I think he had fun, and we may see each other again at some point, or we may not. Is that too vague? 

Here's the longer, but still somewhat edited, version if you prefer...Cash was running a bit behind so when I got to his place I let myself in, grabbed a beer and settled on the couch. His place is super cozy and comfortable, very manly but not in a gross bachelor pad kind of way. I mean, there were scented candles out y'all. Scented.Candles.

He came downstairs smelling all yummy and we chatted a bit. I had brought some toys and he strongly suggested that I grab my favorite and sit in the chair by the fireplace and use it while he built a fire. From like, real wood. By hand. Built.A.Fire. While I masturbated in the chair. For real.

So he built his sexy fire and then smoked a cigarette and watched me while I played with myself. If you know me and my sexual quirks at all, you know that I am not an easy cummer. And yet, in a bit I was able to let loose and get it done in my usual loud, squirmy, exhausting way. Something about Mr. Cool Cucumber sitting there on the hearth smoking a cigarette in front of the fire he'd just built watching me as if he does this shit with the ladies every day (and hell, maybe he does), worked for me.

I recovered and proceeded to get on my knees and suck his cock. I do love pleasing a man this way. He grabbed my head and made me gag on his length and tear up, which I love. I think he came in my mouth or on my face or hell if I know, but I do remember licking his fingers clean. FYI: I was not drunk at this point, I just honestly don't remember, ha!

We hung out in the living room for a while after that, listening to music and talking a lot. Cash seems to like to talk. I don't mean that in a bad way, just that he has a lot to tell and its genuinely interesting. He should write a book or something. Its funny because later on I remember thinking that I came away feeling like I knew a lot about things that had happened to him, but he knew virtually nothing about me. Hmmmmm.

And oh yes, I drank. Beer and moonshine. I'm a bad Southern girl because I'd never had moonshine before until that night. And probably never will again because holy fuck, that stuff is evil. By now, I am pretty wasted. There was a shower and pissing incident, which I can't even write about because, what the hell? Also shock when I looked at my face in the mirror and realized that Cash had been having a serious conversation for the past hour with a girl with a face blackened by horribly scary running mascara/makeup. I looked like a Day of the Dead mask. Yikes. It was not cute.

We ventured upstairs and proceeded to fuck. And I think we played with a dildo and then passed out for a couple of hours. As badly as I wanted sex that night, I wish I remembered it better. Drunken whore. Sheesh. Luckily I had had the presence of mind to set my cell phone alarm earlier and managed to get up in time to get dressed and get home before Mr. Man had to go to work. 

The moral of this story is that while I had a fun "sleepover"...next time I will not get trashed out of my mind because I would prefer to have more control over my body and the situation in general than I did. And getting drunk off your ass and the subsequent hangover is for young people without children. Be smart kids, be smart.

Onward.

xoxo,
Bella

that's some date

Mr. Man made it home safe and sound. We "debriefed" this morning and he is planning to see her again! I never feel its really my place to recount his adventures here and as long as he and I talk about what needs to be discussed, I don't feel the need to share those details with the internet. Its his story and he is free to share it if he wishes,and I kind of wish he would because it sounded super hot! But suffice it to say that sexual activity occurred, along with dinner and a movie. He had a very fun evening with a sweet sexy lady and is a happy man this morning. And that makes me happy too.

Cash kept me in good company last night and we have plans to get together this Friday. Squeeee! I'm very excited to meet him and just plain hang out with him in person. Meeting up with an unattached guy is completely new for me, and not really something I ever thought I'd do. But hell, I never dreamed I'd be in an open marriage until a few years ago either. Life is funny. And pretty damn cool sometimes.

xoxo,
Bella